The Sea Change

Being a teenager is all about going with the tide. Excuse all the water/ocean/sea related references in this post, but you'll deal with it. It's about feeling the ebb and flow of the world around you and getting where you want to be. Sometimes storms brew and rage, but eventually they all have to stop. That's the important thing, no storm can stay forever. At the end of the day, we wash up on the beach, and water recedes and we're left there, washed clean and forced to look at ourselves. This is the sea change.

The sea change. That's when the ship you've been sailing hits a rough patch and you're driven off course. I'm not talking about Titanic status hitting an iceberg and whole damn oceanliner going caput in the middle of some frigid Atlantic drift. I'm talking like Blue Lagoon veering towards a deserted island of sexual awakening solitude and self discovery. I don't know about you but spring break puts me in the mood (not for hanky-panky or like pregnant woman cravings, however I did devour some ferrero rocher today and have the urge to watch J. Love-Hewitt in the Client List on Lifetime) to despise absolutely everyone and everything. I call it the post-break slump. It's a dangerous time and I have to be conscious of it or risk ruining friendships and destroying my entire reputation of being an upbeat goodie-two-shoes. I come back from breaks after being at home in the lap of luxury aka perfection, extravagance and what I refer to as real life (my collegiate existence is like bare minimum basic as hell, survivor typa ish) and I get sad. I get angry and I get annoyed. I'm depressed that I'm no longer at home where I get to see my parents and sister. It's more than that, it's probably because I know they love me and I'm never unsure of our relationship status like I am every single day while at school. I like the safety, and the security - is it wrong for me to want to stay there forever? I come back to school and I'm frustrated and have this strong disdain for everyone and everything. I don't want to be here. Every little thing people do bothers me, like their obliviousness to the outside world, that is the monumental things going on outside of our wannabe utopian bubble of co-ed debauchery. I don't want to see anyone or talk. People talking about their breaks especially gets to me. I already know what you did, you posted pictures, updated your status, instagrammed selfies and tweeted about it all week. I'm guilty of doing the same, so let's cut the crap and the obligatory courteous talks because honestly I don't care where you went, what you did, or who you were with (BSB "As Long You Love" - no J. Biebs you're not need here to get beat up by your secret girlfriend's abusive father figure) and neither do you. It's probably because of all my religion classes but the whole ritualized post break talk sessions bore me. I just want to go home and not have to deal with going to class, talking to people that I barely know (so like ... everyone), and roaming around this campus. Oh don't even get me started on the tans. So white people torment people of color and discriminate based on skin color and yet emulate them by tanning - because you're tan is different than my shade of brown, tell me how that makes sense? There you go, you got me started. Not the time or place to talk about double standards and other racial nonsense. I'm just saying, I understand you got white girl/boy wasted on some beach in Florida or Mexico, bar hopped, hooked up with some townies, and browned like toast on white bread, let's move on. I feel like Cher from Clueless (especially with the amount of plaid I wear, the stuck up attitude, catchphrase ingenuity and the A-lister center of attention complex). But seriously, the spring break slump is curably. You have to look for the good in people and see past all the knitpicky things that you may want to demolish them for. Get enthused and enjoy the rest of your year. Countdown until summer break. Do something new at school or find something you really care about. Anything that will take your mind off of abhoring everything and everyone (it's not healthy). The sea change, oh it's here.

The sea change. That's when you notice that things are different and for that matter things are different. All the droplets, the splashes, and the waves come in differently every single time. Things never happen the same way twice, that's something you can count on. Looking back at where and who I was last year really gets me thinking. My college experience is almost halfway over and I really don't know what I've accomplished. I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be (most people feel the same) but I'm okay with it. It's like when you're in a pool and you're just laying back drifting and you bump into something, or you notice the big guy floating next to you just caused a rip tide with his underwater flatulence or peed a little and the water gets warmer. It's that noticing, that consciousness of difference that's key. It's how you can correct your own course. You don't "Jump Ship" like the Lawrence brothers (woah - Joey Lawrence voice) in that DCOM sequel to "Horse Sense." You steer that ship and hold on for dear life. A few nautical knots this way and a couple of clicks that way and you have the power to reset your path. People act like their stuck, like they're Zach and Cody living the "Suite Life on Deck," on a cruise ship with nowhere to go. It's not true. You eventually have to land somewhere, drop anchor, and venture out. You can still be your own cartographer. Plot your own course and shiver me timbers (no Mr. Krabs, ain't nobody want your super secret Krabby Patty formula - that freaking episode of Spongebob where they almost reveal the formula pissed me the hell off when I first saw it, bet it's just special sauce aka Thousand Island dressing like McDonald's Big Mac). Your college experience isn't over until you're walking across that stage getting your diploma. If you don't like something, change it. You  and you alone have the power to determine where your ship sails. Sail it away from the jagged rocks and into the sunset that is your ultimate dream. Make your dream a reality and take an active role in scouting ahead. You're not out of time, that's why we have the sea change.
Halfway done with college

Being a teenager is all about feeling things out and letting the world take you where it wants. There comes a point where you realize that resistance is futile and you're on your way whether you like it or not. Let the waves fall down and wake your dreams and crash over you. Feel where you are and what you're doing and go where you naturally need to go. Fighting you gut will leave you nothing but ... (wait for it) sea sick. The sea change.

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you get over your post-break slumps? Somehow you just snap out of it and you move on. When you realize you're stuck at school and there's nothing you can do to change it, you just get with it and stop moping around.