Drop the Veil

Being a teenager is all about seeing a kindred spirit. It's about getting back the fronts people put up and getting a glimpse into who they really are. It's about going deeper, seeing the humanity and all the insecurities we all share. When people retract the curtain and you're given a peek into their inner workings, you're entire perception of people changes. We drop the veil.

One of the problems people have with making friends is getting back this weird phase where you're stuck between acquaintances and friendship. Someone has to initiate crossing to bridge and move on from talking about class, weather and food - we all have backup friends and parents for that boredom (do I look like you're lawyer?). We need more, something real, and something we can work with. We have to see the people behind the capes, make up, and facades. Who's behind there (but supehero masks work though, even Oliver Queen though?). What lies beneath? Who are you when there's nobody else around? Someone has to pull away the curtain and bare it all (like the White Chicks dressing room scene) and we're expected to reciprocate, drop trow and get nakey (ya diaper babies). It's a privilege and an honor to get to see the real people we pretend to know so well. One of my favorite anonymous quotes "you know my name, not my story" applies here. No one can ever know everything about you, but that doesn't mean they still shouldn't try. When we can't move past the barriers we've put up, we can't actually become friends or get through to those we care about. We all have flaws, imperfections and other things that keep us overprotective. We wait it out and debate internally (like a Political Animal) whether or not we'll let people know we're not porcelain, the funny thing is everyone is aware that we all have cracks, flecks of paint missing, and all the blemishes, smears and irregularities we pretend we don't have. Even when we do let people in to our lives, they're still shocked by who we really are - what do you expect? We're all damaged goods, but still goods none the less. Drop the veil of secrecy, no one likes keeping secrets (wait for it ... said no one ever).
Lake O’Hara by Ben Lawson, taken in the Canadian Rockies90210 <3
So this post works two ways, getting to know people and marriage. My brother is getting married in less than 4 weeks (the oldest one, there's two others) and I can't believe it. It's kind of super scary, but also exciting at the same time. His fiancĂ©e is one of the most thoughtful people I've ever known and I'm happy that she makes him happy. They support each other and just fit. I'm ready for their wedding, and I know it will be one of those defining moments when he drops the veil and they're pronounced husband and wife and seal it with a kiss. It'll be different to share him with a new person, because in my mind it's always just been the 7 of us (five kids and our parents), but we're growing up and venturing out into the real world. We're coming across remarkable people and finding love. Personally, one of my biggest fears is that I'll never find the girl who loves me the way I need someone . I'm 19 (and a half but we don't speak of it) and still haven't been on my first date yet, and I wonder if I'm behind or not in this whole relationship game at all. All I want is a love that consumes you, where two people become one and make each other better. I want my stone mansion (or I would settle for a manor) in the suburbs, my job as a doctor, and to have children. I cannot wait to dress my kids, plaid and blazers and all the rest so they'll be the talk of their school (starting in preschool). I want to go home, fulfilled from my work and my wife to greet me (or the away around - I'd definitely be down to be a stay at home dad or both of us to work). I want our careers to come second to our love and for our house to be a home and a safe haven for all. It's weird and I have no shame in saying I dream of my wedding day. For everything to be perfect, for my future wife to walk down the aisle and meet me at the altar in her white dress (let's get married). The reception will be the party of the year, and we'll have synchronized dances ready to bust out and the pictures will be flawless and my family and closest friends from high school and college and all the places in between would be in attendance. There would I drop the veil and my life would be forever changed. Sometimes I want this life to speed up and get me there, but I know there's a time for everything and the time will come sooner than I think. It flies by, and there's two more brothers ahead of me before I'll be getting married anyway (get it together broham). Navy blue and white everything, and a day to never forget. Drop the veil and let's get it going.

Being a teenager is all about getting to really know people. If you're still surprised by what people do or say, maybe you don't know them as well as you think. We can't get mad at people for being themselves and showing us their true colors. We have to take them, all of them, for who they are, and deal with it. It's a real honor to get to see the people behind the people, learn what makes them tick, and figure out the inner workings. Drop the veil.

glorious wingtips
My blog post question for the day is ... how do you imagine your wedding to be? You already know my idealized version of the big day, I want to know how you think yours would go down.


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