Cold Feet

Being a teenager is all about marriage. Pause right there, no I did NOT knock a girl up and am trying to do the right thing and wife her up  (Maury would prove I was NOT the father anyway). None of that 16 and pregnant nonsense or psycho Lifetime women with bridal fever. Marriage, that is the uniting of two people becoming one, is a sacred thing (well not in this day and age). Holy matrimony, I do's and all the lovey-dovey smooching in between. It's about honesty, unconditional love, and true vulnerability. Wedding bells are about to ring, don't get cold feet. 

So you're probably wondering what's up with all this wedding stuff, well my oldest brother, Rocky, is getting married to his fiancee, Kristen, this weekend! Yup, one of us five is taking the leap of faith and officially starting his life with someone else. Honestly, I can't believe it and I'm shock, and won't really come to terms with it until we're all getting dressed up in tuxedos and dresses on Saturday. I'm excited to add a new person to our family and to see my brother happy and in love. Hope and prosperity is what I wish for the both of them. Marriage is such a big deal (second only to parenthood) and is definitely not something to be played with. The way people go around with their relationships, proposing this way and that, and then rushing (emphasis on the zooming, speeding, and rocketing) into marriage. All these people not really getting to know each other, that is living with someone and understanding who they are. It's not just dating for 6 months with your head in the clouds and popping the question. If your spouse snores and you can't handle it, I'm pretty sure that's a problem. If you never talk about finances, where you'll live, how many kids you want, how jobs will work and all the nitty-gritty in between you may run into trouble when you tie the knot. There are definitely questions you have to ask before you hit your honeymoon. My big thing is when people have cold feet. It's definitely normal to be nervous on your wedding day (well anytime you have to do something majorly life changing or important) but to the point where you're questioning whether or not you're ready for marriage may be telling of the state of your relationship. Someone please answer me if you've planned your wedding for months in advance and spent a shat ton of money on it (I'll get to the expenses portion later) and then you're going to run out? Oh really, you must be damn crazy. You can't just drop a pretty penny and then be a no show, all the people who have come to see you get hitched, jump the broom, take the plunge - whatever you want to call it. That ish be cray, you had better get your life and know for sure before it even makes it that far. If you can't imagine your life without your partner, that's when you know that you're marriage ready. If you can live without them, maybe they're not wifey/hubby material. Not all people are ready for a lifelong commitment, and that's fine. I know some people who are my age getting married, and if you can support one another and be there forever, then go ahead - if you're not there, you might as well wait. Besides, I will not be compromising on the lavishness of my wedding, let's be real. Cold feet, don't look good on anyone (that doesn't make sense but just go with it).

Wedding Rules to Live By: 1) Ask before bringing a date. I wouldn't want a stranger at my wedding either. Besides, weddings are hot beds for single people looking to be next to catch the bouquet. 2) Do not object during the wedding ceremony, or make a toast if you're not close to the couple. Ruining weddings should only be done with extreme caution.
3) Open bars does not mean drink until you become a sloppy mess. If you cause a scene at my wedding with your disorderly conduct, I'd be livid (besides, my wedding will be alcohol free - sparkling champagne showers for errrybody). 4) Always order chicken for the reception, beef can be super sketch. Also, hit the dance floor. I don't care if you "can't" dance (everyone can, you may just not be that great at it) you had better get your butt on the floor and bust a move or you may as well not come. 5) Do not be a bridezilla or a groommonster. It's not a good look and nobody likes demanding people. If you're wedding isn't perfect, it isn't the end of the world, deal with it. If you're not getting married, your input on the wedding comes second - know when to keep your opinion to yourself.
 

When it comes to marriage there's so much that comes along with it and the controversy sometimes can be too much to handle. Family is an important part of marriage, if your whole fam-bam isn't on board, it can definitely drive a wedge between you and your spouse in the long run. You don't need approval, but you marriage may suffer if there's dissent (sounds like an execution). Then there's the actual wedding. It may or may not be weird that I've secretly dreamed of my wedding day. Navy blue flowers, some plaid accents, in a castle type chapel, bowties and defined lines. I've pretty much got my groomsmen down in my mind at this point, but who knows who will make the cut between now and then. Sometimes I just want to fast forward through this part of my life and get married already. To the future Mrs. Joseph Oteng, wherever you are (chances are we already met), know that I'm coming you and our life together will be the stuff of legend. Speaking of epic romances - here are my favorite celebrity couples. Giuliana and Bill Rancic (and Duke their handsome baby boy) hands down are my favorite, they've been through so much, and still remain flawless, generous and compassionate as ever. Other than that, I would say Armie Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers - actor and journalist (that's my kind of couple); the Mowry's (Tia & Tamera) and their husbands and their beautiful children. There's so many, but Paula Patton and Robin Thicke, Eric Winter and Rosalyn Sanchez, and Ben Foden and Uma Healy. Oh, I can't forget the Bryan Brothers (tennis playing identical twins) and their amazing wives, plus Bob's hilariously cute daughter, Micaela. I think my criteria for couples is for them to be stable, remain out of the tabloids, and to have children - that is be normal people. Celebrities are notorious for their whirlwind romances and quick divorces or annulments (Kim K and Kris Humphries, Evelyn and Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson). I don't know what it is about being famous, but relationships in the spotlight seem to fall apart (or we're more aware of them) real quick. Celebrities are definitely entitled to their privacy, especially on one of the biggest days of their lives. Should celebrities marry average citizens, whoever you love you love, whether famous or not. Which is how I feel about same sex marriage, you do you, and I'mma do me. Your marriage has nothing to do with me, love who you love, and let me do the same (interracial marriages for the win). If you're happy that's all that matters. Don't get cold feet.

Being a teenager is all about speaking the hard truths. Of you don't love someone to the point where you can't stand to live without them, then maybe it's best you don't get married. That 7 year itch (Hallmark movies deserve some recognition, actually pretty good) will get you if you're not committed or mature enough for a lifetime long relationship. Your epic romance may not be your forever partner, and you're kinky one night stand may be your soulmate. Marriage is about and compromise, it's like friendship only intimate. No more cold feet or trashy Vegas weddings (Katy Perry's orders). 

My blog post question for the day is ... what's a deal breaker in looking for your spouse? Uhm, if you don't want or like babies or kids, we're not going to work out - plain and simple.