#Realness

Being a teenager is all about getting real. It's about making tough decisions, coming to realizations, and speak your own personal truths. We as people, especially teens are an interesting group. We always know what we really want, or what we really need - but we'll deny the truth, pretend it's not there, and force things to be a certain way, even though we internally know they should be different. Let the truth run wild, and screw fighting it. You know what you would rather be doing, do it. This is #realness.

After rereading the opening part of this post it makes it sound like I'm coming out or something - whoops, sorry if that was super misleading - this huge reference is about changing your major. Dang, this is so big it's like the Sopranos ended and just cut to black, when Beyoncé killed the Super Bowl and shut the lights out, or when Teen Wolf season 2 conveniently (and freaking Avatar: the Legend of Korra) wrapped up with an unnecessary happy ending. Aw, that must hurt right in the gonads or just make your ovaries explode (I've been known to have that effect on people - #eyesex). Well let me clear up any confusion - I'm changing my major, and potentially my career (well not really, kinda sorta like when Sabrina Spellman was going to marry what's-his-name aka irrelevant, but ended up running away with Harvey Kinkle). Just like that good ole Aryan teenage witch knew she in her heart she was supposed to be with her high school sweetheart, I know being a biology major is not for me. I'm done, fed up, and tired of being run ragged. I loved anatomy - the reproductive system and childbirth might be my favorite thing ever (don't you even dare think about judging me - y'all got some freaky ish you like too; I just think babies are amazing) but the rest of this environmental, animals and cell nonsense, nope I'm not about that life. Please someone (so all the people of color reading this) tell me that  you remember Baldwin Hills - so like Laguna Beach/the Hills but for black people. People used to blow up on that show and be boosie as all get out. They would get annoyed at the smallest things even though they were privileged as heck, like My Super Sweet Sixteen blinged out - that's my currently relationship (there I go misleading people again; such a tease) status with my major. Biology, I like it - but I just don't love it. I guess I always knew in the pit of my washboard abs stomach that I didn't really enjoy it as much as I should and that I probably should have had a different major. There's one thing that holds people back from speaking their own theirs, it's fear. No matter what you know about yourself whether it be that you hate your job, you're not feeling your relationship, you despise your college, or hell that you're not "straight" - the thing that stop you from proclaiming and accepting the truth is fear. It can be overcome, and you can push past it. You'll get tired of hiding behind a lie and when you face the truth and decide to accept it, a great weight will be lifted from you. I can finally breath - I'm switching to religion, staying a bio minor - taking some journalism classes, and still pre-med (for now; I would be a smoldering news anchor though). Bring some of that courage, and boldness and display that #realness.  

That's the thing about gut feelings - you just know. I wonder sometimes who I'll marry, what my kids will be like, and where I'll end up living and you just know that things will turn out alright in the end. This week has been crazy as heck - like Jen K. exposing all the debauchery on Greek during the season one finale (lonelygirl15 anyone? - that show will be one of favorites because of all the pop culture references). From classes and multiple exams, to some tough talks and even a break down or two. Monday night I was just a big ole mess. I needed my friends to tell me to "get my life." Luckily my fraternity brother Zach and my newest super buddy, Jeff, knew just what to say to calm me down and cool it. It was a culmination of feeling disrespected, unappreciated and overlooked that ended with me walking in the cold back to my room, fuming and venting via text. I got my life together and moved on to Tuesday where it was more work and no time to do anything except school. Ain't nobody got time for all that, there's more to college than just classwork. I kept going but I was feeling like I was heading towards another exasperated day. Of course that was Wednesday where I did class, and office hours where I talked with my advisor and finally said it. I was unhappy with my major. I decided to make the change and spent the next couple of hours running around campus (let's be real I took the bus, what I look like - a pedestrian) visiting the few staff (step it up UVM) that have backgrounds in journalism. I was intent on designing my own major because my school apparently isn't with the times and hasn't developped a journalism program (get it together). I went to my fraternity and sorority leadership class where we did a run down of strengths quest and even though I'm well versed, just taking a look at my strengths again (empathy, acheiver, responsibility, individualization, harmony) convinced me that I could make the necessary change. I made the call to my mom and she was like errrr ner. I stepped back and took another look, and I'm not trying to be in college for five years - so switching my major with my minor makes the most sense and will keep me happy (and the parentals). Done and done. I went to my RHA meeting which was a lively busy conundrum and ended with skyping my buddies from St. Michael's College. We're going to bidding to host the next NEACURH Minis conference - oh yes, those amazing special blog posts where I cheer and obsess with newfound friends, coming back to VT (hopefully). I spent the rest of my night well posting about my campaign for RHA (IRA on our campus) president again and studying for a genetics exam. Took the exam this morning and quit possibly might have aced it. Boom kiddies - there goes the #realness.

Being a teenager is all about speaking your own inner truths. We know what's right for us deep down. It's all inside, the answers to all life's major questions lie within us. You have to dig, shovel, and scramble to unbury the treasure that remains inside. Trust your gut, it's almost always right. Serve some of that hot and ready teenage angst-ridden #realness.

My blog question for the day is ... what's your dream life look like? Uhm, so pretty much like Giuliana and Bill Rancic's life - flawless, beautiful baby, famous, rich and doing something meaningful while still find time to give back, and still keep it real; yes please.