Crash and Burn

Being a teenager is all about keeping your life together. I think Greek had me thinking that college would just a be a rush, but hell no, it's kind of hard of hell. Let me tell you, this week has barely started and I'm already a major mess. This week is so jam packed that I literally don't even know when to eat, and we all know "the Rex" (my nickname for anorexia) has never been in style. The gun powder has been lit, and this place is about to blow. Brace for a rough landing, crash and burn.

Waking up on Monday morning is just unbearable. I have no intention of going to classes, I don't even have the energy to get dressed to look good, and I'm not even feeling great, more like gassy and mediocre. But I get my big booty up and put in some work, I'm talking I put the team on my back, and kicked some homework buttox from 8 am until I had my first college exam ever at 10:40am. Biology, I had the gurgles, like when you feel like you could liquid shat at any moment, butterflies are spreading fairy dust in your stomach, and your palms are sweating like the fat of Kriste Alley. I take my seat, whip out my mechanical pencil and go demolish that damn thing. Biology has got nothing on me right now. All of a sudden this kid stands up, turns in his paper, chucks the deuces and pretty much krump walks out of there. I'm powering through these multiple choice questions like I'm about to re-elect president Obama, the choice is obvious people. I'm sitting there and my stomach starts raging. I'm talking it's having a conversation with itself, like dude, STHU, you're killing me. I hear water droplets, awkward bubbling and starvation moans, like chill bro, I'll get some grub in good time. I check my work twice, Santa Claus taught me (uhm, never believed in the dude, but that's a story for another day) and I wait for a while to not seem obscenely fast. My professor smiles at me, and I salute him like do awkwardly when I don't give a full smile. Whatevs, I was done and that was all that mattered. Finally, I was ready to combat the beast known as hunger going Planet of the Apes wild in my stomach. Frosted Flakes, they're more than good kiddies, they're great. Into my honors college class for tons more discussion, this time on poetics as told by Ginger Aristotle. The dude is old as eff, he speaks with that superiority accent, and if he was a normal teen, we could describe his complaints as DRAMA. Tragedy my arse, I don't know if he wanted to see some  Grecian goddess roll around in Ferrera Roché nougat or stare at some statue private parts, but the guy just wanted some drama. It's called TV buckaroo, invent that crap or spread a rumor or something, all I know is he needed to get a life. HCOL finishes, and there's that awkward conversation with my professor about that paper, looks like I'm involved in my own drama, oh Aristotle. I dip out, and head to lunch at the Marché with Krabby Patty and Jakey Bear. It's always an adventure with those two, I had a chicken salad while they got some kind of vegetable panini with ridiculously large onion rings on the side; they looked like cousin Pam from the Cosby Show's outrageous hoops, like WTE is that. I do some dancing and singing in my room before I head off to chemistry lecture. Tired as hell, and not even halfway through the day, I'm ready to crash and burn.

I catch up with this cool girl Tanya, and we just complain about everything, someone understands me. I get to class and sit next to a new person, Zach, who I have now dubbed Zach Attack for his bike riding ways and interesting faces (let it be known, most people don't know of the nicknames I give them). Any way, Mystery Model, the swagged out dude who always engages in a staring contest with me in passing from that class, stayed after his physics class to ask the prof a question. While he was waiting we went into eye-duelling mode. I'm talking forehead wrinkles, scrunchy eyebrows, and wholehearted silly faces. This guy knows his facial attacks. Mystery Model beware, I'll beat you one day. Back to the dorm to be unbelievably dumb and play some Halo: Reach. Let me tell you, murdering aliens, jetpacking with the gravity hammer, and pal-ing around with Double T, for sure took my mind off of the irrational amount of work I had left to do. My across the hallmate, Mireille, and I hit the Marketplace in the Davis student center for some din-din and I decide to do my part to save the environment by purchasing that reusable eco-ware container, you can call me Blacktain Planet. Back home to watch the second episode of the Secret Circle, good-looking girlies, witchcraft and teenage angst, what more could you possibly need? In comes Jandro to harass the heck out of me, exiting all open windows, let's just say, yelling went down, as always. I finally begin my shat-ton-o-homework only to be interrupted, gratefully with a dance session with Jimbo and Sam I Am. Somehow I end up becoming a male escort, yeah you read that right, and practicing my lap dance skills on my study chair. Jimbo starts riding the skateboard of doom, and his crash was completely wild, I'm talking atomic bomb status. So everybody has got their crush on our floor, me with JaMocha, and Sam has hey eye set on this dude, so naturally we stalk the hell out of him. I'm talking, window watching, code names and creeping like nobody's business. We end up seeing Bandana Nick from the Northside instead. A nightly catch up talk with our resident politician Joelly-Bear, and it's about that time to hit the hay. Of course Jandro and Twilight, come in just after 1 am and we have the most incoherent conversation ever, retainers in our mouths causing that sessy lisp, and we discuss farting, abortion, and pink eye turn ons. Oh what a day, and what a night, the pressure's on to put out the fire, crash and burn.

Tuesday morning I'm hustling and bustling about to get ready for tennis class. It's always a hilarious good time in that class. Big E and his tremor stirring serves. Once again, Pretty Boy Evan is missing, but the class goes on and we play this game, +5, -5. Senior girls Lysser and Katie demolish me and Nasty-Nate, and he takes two balls to the balls to the head and thigh, and I take one square in the back. Flat out pegged, but it's NBD. I'm all sweated out and my neverending day has just begun. I don't even have time to shower, so my scent for the day is "boy at the playground" and I'm off to central campus for a meeting with my prof. I catch up with Ky-Ky and just walk and talk, always great to see that singer/songwriter, philosopher dude. I wait literally 53 minutes awkwardly catching up on celebrity news and tweets before I get to see this teach. No breakfast yet again, and the drama I came up with in my mind doesn't even go down, major epic fail. I power walk to Jeffords Hall, and do work with my biology lab. I end up working with Emily, (secrely dubbed Spik-Em) who just so happens to randomly live at the end of the hall, Pacific Side- like New Zealand far away. Classically clumsy, just like me but it all works out. I come back to the lounge and text Shandee for a lunchtime meetup. I go back to get some grub and bring it back while wearing a bib to the upper midwest lounge where CrackaJack, Double-T and Shandee are being super productive. Let me tell, you it's literally hotter than a fat man's butt crack in there. Like my sweat was sweating. Double T loses a battle with his water bottle and looks like he wet himself, too funny. Jack gets us all to create little doodles, mine was just some unique plaid of course. That's a cool kid, I'll say it, I think we're friend. And of course Shandee is changing her hair style, the girl's a Michigan Barbie. On to math class, where the boiler room temperatures lull me to sleep. After being a total party foul and knocking over my all my stuff, I finally wake the eff up to the Jake McDorman look-a-like, Connor, asking questions about logs, not Lincoln Logs, the math kind. From there it's on to my chemistry lab, where I realize I forgot my work that's due back at the dorm. It's Krabby Patty to the rescue, my newest brother literally saved my goofy goggle wearing life, I love that boy. My lab partner, Danny Boy, and I freaking demolish that lab like Nicki Minaj did to Lil' Kim. That's one funny dude, cracking jokes about the hardcore chemist wannabe working across from us. The best thing was our TA, Graham Cracker even mocking the hell out of the kid also, too much. We take the dark walk back, sharing stories of women crushes, uhm, so much girl, not enough of me, and it's to the Marché with Mireille again for sweet sustenance. My nonstop day is just about over. Shan-Dawg calls me into the bathroom to discuss some secret, and soon I realize I walked into a trap, betrayed by hall-sister, and Nemesis Norio and Jandro take my own cups and splash the shat out of me with hella lotta water. I was totally drenched and super-saiyan raging. I was like nuclear war status, screaming, and raving like today was my final day on Earth. This hall has never seen such anger. I was flat out astonished, they wronged me bad. Tell me why, my stupid red shirt, the demon one responsible for ruining my whites bleeds onto my t-shirt, my plaid boxers, and my extra-long shorts and belt - for real, just to take it over the top. Everybody's geeking out and I'm fuming. Apologetic man squeeze hugs from Nori-sorious Rex and Jandro. JaMocha Shake comes to use me and print some papers, and I'm fine with that. That girl can do whatever she wants with or without me (take that however you'd like, but we're platonic). Afterwards, Joelly Bear drops by for a catch up session. Jandro moons me,  yup, a facefull of Dominican ass for this kid and I'm scarred for life. We're out of fuel but we've made it to our destination, crash and burn.

Being a teenager is all about staying sane. College is kind of crazy with so much to do all the time. It's all about being able to keep your life together and not be Stay on track and take your plane off autopilot. Loose yourself in all this collegiate madness and you'll crash and burn.

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you deal with pressure? Candy, dance parties, and tons of laughter. It may be too much, but I know I've got this.


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