Sex Talk

Being a teenager all about deciding for yourself what boundaries. No one else but you can tell you what you can and cannot do. It's up to you to figure out what is and is not okay for you. Everyone is different and the ideas they have behind their motivations and driving forces vary. Be strong in your convictions and be conscious of your actions. College tests you, challenges you, and drives you to the edge of all your thoughts and beliefs. Get ready - it's time for the sex talk.

Backstory anyone, here we go. So the other day I was thinking about how I never actually got a sex talk from my parents. It's kind of like a weird thing, I'd seen more TV moms & dads give sex talks than I'd ever said word sex in my house at all. But sex is all around, especially in the media (uhm have ever watched Lifetime or a daytime soap, hell even primetime shows bare it all) and it's practically unavoidable. That got me thinking about my views of sex and how I may be in the minority of my ides. Let me stop right here and reiterate that these ideas are no one's but my own - I don't think other people have to comply with them, whatever choices people make is up to them, these are standards that govern my own teenage life. With that preamble you know I'm about to write some controversial ish. Personally, I think sex should be reserved for those who are married. When I came to college that's the ideal setting where I expected everyone to be doing it. I realized that idea was kind of outdated, but what I kept from that was that sex should be between two people who love each other. Sex is the most intimate way of knowing someone. It's the physical manifestation of two people showing their passion for one another. While I still think that passion comes within marriage, I'm more than aware of people doing the nasty on a daily basis. In my mind, sex is a such a special thing because you're giving your entire self to someone else. Losing your viriginity is something that only happens once, it's something you remember for the rest of your life, and something you can't take back. Even when you become sexually active you multiply greatly your "sexual partners" with the amount of people your partner has been with. Me, I'm abstinent - there will be no hanky-panky, sheet wrestling or bodily fluids exchanged until I've put a ring on it and been dubbed man and wife. My sex is not something I'm going to be giving out willy-nilly. The thing that blows my mind is how nonchalant people are about sex in college, one night stands, library book stack hook ups, and drunken encounters. Trusting a total stranger with your body sounds absoluely terrifying. Sex should be with someone you know deeply and personally, and whole heartedly love, not some meaningless booty call. But that's just me, call me conservative, ancient, or tell me I'm missing out. I'm not one to leave me out there, naked, shattered, and forever torn. Sex has ramifications, whathever we realize it or not. Maybe it's time you redefine who and why you trade sexual favors with, sex talk.
Sex sounds like this crazy big ordeal. Like an awkward tango in bed. Who the hell knows what to do. Who defines what you're allowed to do either? What if someone doesn't like what you're doing or vice versa, isn't it awkward to like tell someone you're not into what they're doing? I've got all these questions and I'm sure a lot of you do to. W)hether you're sexually active or not, no one is an expert in sex. This is not stuff you can learn from reading a book or watching a movie Ray J & Kim K's sex tape (Blue Lagoon anyone?), why then do people act like they were born knowing how do the whole thing? Let me tell you something, there are so many double standards with sex and gender equality. There are so many instances where a girl is told to guard her virginity and preserve her purity and is immediately known as loose, skanky, alutty, whorish or a brothelizing harlot (that last one I have to take credit for) is she does have sex. Guys on the other hand are encourage to get as much "tail" as they can. They're shown to treat it as some kind of sick game where it's a contest to bed as many girls are possible, with extra points given to those who deflower a virgin. If a guy isn't sexually active he's known as a wuss or a "pussy." Just think about 9O21O, Liam's sex tape getting him publicity and Annie being a prostitute destroying her life even though Liam sleeps around like it's his job. I vividly remember a Rebecca Logan from ABC Family's "Greek" speech on double standards, homegirl preached the damn truth. I was talking the other day about that GYT (that MTV "get yourself tested" campagin, Soulja-Boy) PSA (let me stop abusing acronyms) and how you have the right to know if your partner is carrying an STI (sexually transmitted infection). Sorry but I don't want some Blue Mountain State style crabs, and I kind of like need to know where you've been (Rihanna you S&M is not wanted here). There's so much that goes into the process as well (yeah I just referred to sex as a a process) - like wearing condoms, or taking birth control - plus everybody has their preferences with hair. Yeah, the bodily hairs all over, and smells and all this ridiculousness. Who is like ever pristine and ready for all that - it's supposed to happen spontaneously in moments of passion but you have to stop for all these other things. Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm just saying, be prepared. Sex talk.
Click for the most hilarious, relatable gifs.
Stop picking on my buddy Victor Webster….he plays ROLES… you can’t hate him for playing a dick on a TV show….love ya Coop :D
Being a teenager is all about making your own rules to govern your life. Some thingre res you just have to follow like laws, and other social constructs that are extant to your adolescent e zendeavors, but there are so many other instances where you're obligated to form your own opinion. No one can take it there, unless you want to go there. If you're ready and can deal with the relational consequences then do you. Our choices are only our own. Ready for that sex talk.
 Sweet love
My blog post question for the day is ... how old were when you go the sex talk from your parents? As you know, I never got an explicit sex talk, but whenever an awkward sex scene was shown and my mom was there she would be like ... you know about this right?


  1. Y'know, I can't argue with ya Jo, almost at all. But I do have one problem. Believe me, I'm with ya, all that crazy random hookin up ain't for me. But whereas you only believe it, I know for a damn fact that I can't have good sex with someone I don't love/know deeply/etc. I've tried! And it's shitty and hurried and anxious and not *fun* which is half the point of sex for me. The other half is the love part. So maybe for some people, the whole point is the fun, and to them I say "rock on!" but I know it ain't for me. Regardless, here's my question: Who says love and marriage gotta go together? Like I said, I can only have good sex with someone I love, who I know deeply, and who I am incredibly comfortable with, but good lord I'm certainly not married to her! And on the other hand, how many couples get divorced? Marriage isn't necessary to love and love isn't necessary to marriage, that's a straight up fact. So, if you find yourself having a really great time with a girl, and you think "maybe she's the one", don't just go putting a ring on that! Part of having sex before marriage is so that you can know *Yes, I am sexually compatible with this person*, it's the only thing you can't know just by hanging out and having fun with someone. What if they're kinkier than you, not kinky enough, what if they have weird fetishes or the tiniest penis or grossest vagina? I mean, I'm serious! Just because you marry someone doesn't mean you're going to have good sex with them, and I don't want to see someone make that mistake. You think I'm joking? All I can say is, good luck.


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