Silver Bells

Being a teenager is all about getting into the holiday spirit. Winter is truly magical time of the year (it better be, or else the cold would serve no purpose whatsoever and ain't nobody got time for that). It's a time where people set aside their difference and celebrate by showing their love, generosity and compassion for one another. It's refreshing, it's much needed and that's why it's the most wonderful time of the year. Time to break out the mur, chrysanthemums, manger bedding, angel wings, fluffy handcuffs and wrapping paper - deck the freaking halls with bows of holly, and all that jazz. It's silver bells.

First and foremost, let it be known that Thanksgiving is and will forever be my favorite holiday. Don't get me wrong, I don't ever plan on cheating on all that turkey stuffed goodness and warm fall scents with the cedar pine (mmph), eggnog (that stuff is foul as hell, but actually who drinks that ... I want to get eggnog-wasted #saidnooneever), and mistle toe remnants that come with Christmas. *This post gets the disclaimer that this is my extremely Christian (parody/hyperbole) perspective on Christmas and its downfall. Now let me me go in on how Christmas has been ruined, please and thank you. Christmas has been turned in a mockery. It's absolute ridiculous what this fabled holiday has become. People have forgotten the reason for the season and fallen victim to the commercialized nonsense that is every aspect of "American culture" (if that's even thing). Children have been lied to and toyed with for way too long. Whoever came up with the idea of the whole Santa Claus myth millions of parents are giving you the bird (the bird is the word - Family Guy problems). Why tell kids that some creepy overweight man climbs into their chimney on Christmas Eve and delivers them presents or a piece of coal depending on their works for the entire year? He eats cookies and drinks milk and is like ancient. Yo kiddies, if you're under the impression that Santa is bringing you an iPad-mini, the redesigned Easy-Bake Oven and a Wii-U, you'd be mistaken. His elves are wood-working crazies (yes, I despise Will Ferrell and subsequently Elf - BTW, Zoey Deschanel is not ironically quirky, homegirl is a Katy Perry doppelganger and classically boringly weird) with a hardcore candy addiction. Kids should know that they're parents worked their asses off to provide for them and should not only be grateful that they get presents in the first place, but take whatever they get. Christmas has become this out of control contest, especially the older you get, to see who's family can buy the "best" (aka most high-tech or expensive presents). The amount of money people spend on freaking cookies, candy canes, decorations, begrudged Christmas cards with postage, raggedy Secret Santa gifts (because you always get someone you don't really like), ugly sweaters, evergreen trees, and of course those ever-important presents. So glad you got some fancy chromed out gadgetry that'll be irrelevant as soon as you open the packaging, I'm happy for you and your petty materialism (ooph this post took a turn for bitter a while ago). Right after Christmas everyone asks everyone else what they got and people try to one up each other, like what you got determines you worth or something (oh it tells your net-worth alright). Like fall back or fall back, what I got or didn't get is between me and my mom and dad or the big guy living on the ice cap. People need to get it together and stop spending money on useless things and be content with what they have. We need to get back to why we really celebrate Christmas the birth of good ole sweet baby Jesus. Better get those silver bells ringing.

Armie Hammer as Prince Andrew Alcott in the new Snow White movie O.O
Think about it, Christmas has become such a secular practice. How is it possible that the religion was taken out of religious holiday - isn't that like some kind of irony or oxymoron, hell it's a contradiction at least. Literally everyone celebrates it, like even Jewish people (since when do those latka making, candle-lighting, dreidel twirling kids get presents as part of Hanukkah, Chanukah or however you spell it) and same with Kwanzaa (which was made up by white people BTW, no one celebrates it - how are you going to tell black people *those bound by ancestry to American slavery, to reclaim they're African heritage; Africa is a damn continent, there's not one sweeping culture). Major side note, I love the running joke that Jewish people go to the movies (uhm Les Miserables anyone?) and eat Chinese food on Christmas day. The present giving and getting (we should all just stop giving presents to other people, keep the money for ourselves and save it (I return everything, nobody ever gets it right) has become the entire holiday. No prayer, and no reading of the two canonized gospel passages concerning the miraculous birth of Jesus of Nazareth (religion minor problems). Constant bright lights, terribly annoying songs concerning snow, fake green decorations and false selflessness. You want to know why there's world peace, why babies sleep heavenly and for one night and morning the Earth is quietly perfect - the birth of Christ Jesus. While I'm aware that the D.O.B. of my good buddy JC (never do I ever refer to him in this way) was arbitrarily assigned and even in the Bible there are different accounts of his delivery, wisemen, king Herod, archangel Gabriel, virgin moms, super-bright stars, stable mangers, and all - it's the reason for the season. A minor detail of the wise men giving priests to their newborn king gets turned into a yearly extravaganza of worldly indulgence and American sacrilege, way to blow it out of proportion. I say screw the presents (I know I probably think this because I can ask for anything during the rest of the year, but that's besides the point) or give them to those in need, and sit with your family and tell them why you love them. People just say I love you and the reasons behind it are implied, but when was the last time you thought why? It's assumed you love your parents and siblings, because you're related to them, but you don't necessarily have to (there's tons of messed up family relationships out there, have you seen One Life to Live, Dynasty or Dallas) and everyone else, they must have done something to earn it, love for someone is not inherent (unless babies & cuddly animals are involved). Ponder that, and forget the silver bells and whistles this year.
can he get any cutter????
When I say Merry Christmas that's me wishing someone a time spent with the people they love and that love them back not full stockings of basic stuffers or mountains of wrapping paper under a needle-dropping fire hazard (dang I'm going in). In my family, my parents give us money and we're tasked with spending a third on our friends, another third on those in need and a third on ourselves. This year we didn't bother putting up the tree or decorating, just to have the company of us seven is more than enough. I came to the realization that I don't need  anything, I have wants but no needs. That's where people go overboard and miss the point. There is so much pain, hurt, and need in this world and Christmas is a time where we can do something about it. I don't need more clothes, a big dinner or a brand new apple product (crazy apple fan boys and girls need to simmer down). People are starving, they're homeless, and they are struggling - they need hope, love and compassion (we all do). My family spends Christmas morning in our great room reading passages from the Bible, listening to holidy songs on the radio, eating cookies and avoiding the barrage of phone calls. We turn the outside world off and it's just us in peace and quiet of one another's loving company. I guess it's all up to you. Put up as many silver bells as you want, but you're missing the best part the jingle. *Let me just say I love some Christmas movies like Home Alone, Sundays at Tiffany's, Mistletones and the every show's obligatory holiday episode Smallville's "Lexmas" Sabrina the Teenage Witch's, Rugrats etc.

Being a teenager is all about getting into the holiday spirit. That is loving everyone as your neighbor, going out of your way to help other and spreading some good Samaritan kindness. Christmas day is here and it's another great one. Live it up, play it loud, and share with your family and friends. Enjoy and Merry Christmas from your favorite teenage blogger.

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you celebrate Christmas? In solitude with my fam-bam


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