Trust But Verify

Being a teenager is all about taking in the world around you. It's about seeing everything and taking it for what it is. It's about analyzing, being critical, and trying to piece together the whole story. It's up to you form your own opinion and to be vulnerable at your own risk. The world is a cruel place, and things are never what they appear be. The truth of the matter is you can never know everything this is to know about anyone. But you have to try and make your own judgements. Trust but verify.
 Lately, I've noticed just how critical these blog posts have become, but I know it's because it's a representation of whatever I'm going through. I'll try to lighten up, but at least for now I'm not having any of it. Trust - probably the single most important word in my opinion. You trust people to protect you, love you, and to do whatever it takes to keep you in tact. You trust God or whatever your religion you put your faith in. You expect people to keep your secrets, to never forsake you, and never hesitate to stand behind you. When time's get tough and things are crucial and you see people waiver in their loyalty or have to contemplate you, you know you've got a problem. If you trust someone wholeheartedly, you don't delay for a second. You leap into action l Arrow and kick some ass where the roundhouse kicks and super punches are due. That's it, end of story. At the end of the day if you're not will your relationship or friendship? For me, that's been the struggle of this week. It's been questioning people's motives, intentions, and allegiance. The thing I miss most about being at home was that I knew exactly who I could, and who my friends were. There was no doubt about it, it was all cut and dry plain and simple. Honestly, I wonder if I've found those people in college. I run into these walls with people where they can't take off their masks, stop pretending, and get real for five minutes to have an actual conversation. The avoidance mechanisms are absolutely unreal. If I don't get to know the real you, just the front you put up or the facade you use to cover all the mysterious parts of who you actually are - our "friendship" can only go so far. Give me trust, give me truth, and give me liberation from all falsehood over a superficial laugh, or an obligatory smile. I'm done. I'm at wit's end. I need more, I need to feel safe, secure, and assured of who I "give" myself to. If you can't bring it down, get a little serious, and go just a smidgen deeper, then what are we doing. If we're friends, I'm going to let you see all of me. Unedited, unwrapped, uncovered - with every dark mark, the battle scars, the dried tears, and the pain. You can't just get the geeked out laughter, the bright eyes, the jokes, and the smiles. I trust you with it all the same. Trust but verify.
Damn I can be bleak. But truthfully, I tired of the crap. All these fronts, and all the acting - I'm over it. I watch TV for that, I don't want it from "real" people. Like come on now. You're probably wondering what the hell happened to me this week. Truthfully, not that much actually, but it was just enough to send me reeling. Betrayal of trust - the end all be all of friendship crimes. Nothing else compares. You break, you shatter, and your willingness to trust others diminishes. You need people to restore your trust and faith in humanity. I'll take you back to Wednesday which I zoomed through, political science and office hours, followed by my Greek leadership class. Like I really enjoy the class, but I got impatient with waiting for people to speak the truth to stop beating around the bush and accept the harsh realities of the campus climate we live in. My night ended with a great RHA meeting where I genuinely had a great time and it brightened up my night. Thursday was hours and hours of biology class, followed by a talk on violence in popular culture and religion - some tabling and a lunch of sushi. I stopped by the student life office to talk to the Greek Advisor, Kim - who got it, she was frank and knew the haps (thank freaking goodness). Somehow I ended up talking for an hour and sharing my life story before I met up with my fraternity brothers, Zach and Jake to go shopping for chili making supplies. To be completely honest, it was for sure one of the highlights of my week. I was free. For once, I got to be "normal" and to just pal around being regular and classically quirky. We got all the supplies including a shat ton of baked beans. We made our way to Zach's apartment to cook and Rob and Dom showed up to help out. We were cracking jokes, stirring, chopping, blasting music, dancing and bro-ing out. For those three hours I let my guard down and just relaxed. I was relieved, and felt like myself again. They all even commented how out of character it was, but I know it's because I rarely have time to be my "normal" fun loving self (whoever that is). On to Friday where I spent the morning doing genetics problems with Dzenan and Taylor (which is favorite weekly thing) in the library. For real, it's irrationally unproductive (we eventually get it done), but that's what makes it awesome. I chill out and hang out. I get to trust and get verification validated at the same time. It's worth saying I spent my afternoon shamelessly watching TVD (*Spoiler alert - RIP Kol #noone kills Australians), and Arrow. Boom!
Being a teenager is all about being real with not only yourself but everyone around you. It's about taking a step back and checking the facts. Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice, well shoot, you've got another thing coming. Trust is not something you give out freely, it's earned, proven, and verified. You have to be vigilant or else prepare for what's to come. I've said and I'll say it again, people will always - whether it's for better or worse, you never know. Trust but verify.
 Trust but Verify
My blog post question for the day is ... how do you know you trust someone? Truthfully, I only trust a few people entirely, my siblings, parents, and some friends. Let's be real, trust is one of those things that you reserve for a select few.


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