Crossing the Line

Being a teenager is all about knowing your boundaries. It's about setting limits for yourself and never allowing yourself to cross the line you've drawn. Everybody has their standards for how they live their lives. Things that are coolio for some people may or may not be too legit in the eyes of other people. I live by the three rules, "No drugs, no booze, and no babies" so when the opportunity presents itself to combat my wall of squeaky clean, I laugh and move on. Battlers at the ready, hold the line at all costs.

Friday was another one of those completely unbelievable days. The kind of day that makes you think, is this real life, David After Dentist style. I get all dressed in Vermont garb to be all festive for the day and I get on with my life. I head on over to Biology, where we're still learning all in preparation for our exam this Monday. Let's just say, panic mode doesn't even describe what we're feeling right now. Class let's out and I'm humming Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" on the way back to the dorm. The sun is shining, almost blazing, but not quite cooking my skin yet. I walk by the little housing complex for families with toddlers, and one of them chucks a green ball, reminiscent of the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit, into the street. I chase the thing into the middle of the street and retrieve it successfully after being flipped off by some stoned bros. Dear druggies, it's not even noon yet, we all have limits, I try not to eat candy before known, that'd mean I have a problem, get some help you wild animals. I deliver the ball back to the kid and he gives me a high five through the fence. That shat made my day, it was fricken awesome. So I make it to my honors college class and we end up discussing the lecture from the previous night, recall the Mouse Tales and all that jazz. We progress to David Hume, who's not a comedian at all, but Hume is too similar to humor, which the dude may have not had a sense of. Class ends and we all get our Descartes papers back. I'm halfway up the stairs to my dorm room when I read at the bottom of my paper, "Grade, please see me" - I'm thinking WTE. So I go back to see my teach, and she tells me that my paper was unacceptable, as in it couldn't be graded because it was that bad. Thoughts running through me head are, uhm, where's my lawyer, or am I being Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher (shouldn't he be slumming around on Two and Half men) or maybe she got it wrong. Nope, I'm tasked with rewriting my entire paper, which effectively ruins my Friday. Disclaimer: no tears were shed in the making of this blog post. So I didn't eat b-fast, and I lost my appetite from my shocking news, uhm, I think I might write for a living (not that I get paid to do this) and I'm pretty sure the yearbook I co-edited has won multiple awards, so I'd say I can weave a web of words so good, homegirl would never have to get her tracks tightened. Shan-Dawg comes to the rescue and convinces me to give up on my food strike, and we head to the student center for some quesdillas. We're on the lookout for Rally Cat, the school mascot, to get some free stuff for dressing up, but no luck, it's like where in the world is Carmen San Diego. A crap load of dismal salsa and a heaping helping of sour cream later and we're going at those things like nobody's business. I see my chem lab partner, Danny Boy, just getting some work done and eating some fruit - that's just one cool kid, sophomore or not, he's the bees knees. I head back to my dorm for a tearful goodbye with Krabby Patty, who was heading out for a singing retreat. Bro-hug complete, I could move on with my life and stop moping. Golly-gee willickers I was plum excited for chemistry class after that. I get to class like always and the Mystery Model saga continues, this time the dude is wearing Aviator sunglasses, and still stares me down as we walk past each other. He's upping the ante. Somehow I end up dozing off during lecture, must be all that sleep deprivation, and Jandro whales on my shoulder. The dude is lucky I didn't overturn tables and rip his head off. Our chem teacher whips out this crazy huge glasses and makes some jokes while showing us a chemical reaction, what a character that guy. Friday classes are over, and we walk back to the dorms, joining us is Northside Sam, Baltimore Emily, and Bandana Nick (life goal achieved). Back to the room, where everybody is getting ready to go to Mac Miller, and I make the decision to give up my concert ticket to stay home and rewrite that damn paper. With Jandro yelling full force out the window, and errybody making deals, time flies by while I get lots of homework done. Double-T (Bretton) comes to the rescue to power mop up my alleged catastrophe of a paper. After some major rewriting, like the Heidi plastic surgery type of ish, we gamed hardcore with Halo Reach, and even Mireille joined the fun. The crazy kids get back, Hannity, No-Crap Carolyn, Natty Dan, Penguin Lilia, Ali-Cat, Jandro, MAbby, Sam I Am, Nasty-Nate, Nemesis Norio and we all just hang out in the hallway like we always do. Upper Mid-West Jack joins the club, and provides us with epic tunes, and chicken wings. Shenanigans go down including, Natty Dan swiping a Garlic-Parm wing from this kid, Dora the Explorer, Swiper Style. It was intense. Dance party in the lounge, complete with rave lighting, and it's time to hit the sack. Somebody just crossed the line.



Saturday morning, Hannity comes to retrieve me for some free pancakes. I had about 5 little miniature pancakes, with oooh, ooh, oh, thick, rich, dark amber Vermont maple syrup (it's like describing those Dove chocolate, listen here depressed lady, eat your damn chocolate and call it a night, your lack of having a man doesn't mean you can project your desires onto a piece of candy). The gang sat outside with the fog just nibbling away. Afterwards, it was more homework for me. I think that might be a recurring theme for the weekend. Most of the Eastside gang took to downtown for some shopping, I did some shopping of my own, ordering a few more plaid shirts (I have a problem, okay, don't judge me). I took a break to watch the pilot episode of the CW's "the Secret Circle" from the author of "the Vampire Diaries" - let's just say I was instantly hooked like a drug dealer on crack. Eventually we went outside to play some glow in the dark frisbee, barefoot. Nemeis Norio, Mitchy-Mitch, Sam, Shandee and I were making that frisbee soar like a freaking UFO. Back inside, and a few of us decide to hit the Marché for some snackage. I finally get a smoothie, and I return to my room only to get Hulked out and rage like the world was ending. #NeverHaveIEver yelled so loud in my entire life. While I was gone, Jandro, Nemesis, and Natty Dan stormed my homebase, overturned chairs, scattered my shoes, put the printer in the bathroom, and moved all my painstakingly placed pictures. Let's just say I went from X-Men Jean Grey, to out of control Dark-Phoenix disintegrating molecules with every death glare. It wasn't pretty at all. While everyone else got all dolled up for a Yoga-Ho and Classy Bro party, I fixed the pics and got my life back together. I came out of hiding to watch Shandee, Norio, and Austin play Risk, with Ky-Ky buzzing a round. I demolished a Super-Blow pop and I was chill. Somehow I got back to my room and passed out on my bed, fully clothed, shoes included. Without Krabby Patty, I was a mess. Oh, the personal boundary line was more than crossed, it was jumped over and spat upon.



Sunday morning I woke up in a coughing fit like none other. I coughed so hard I literally vomited. All that just to clear the tickle out of my throat, or maybe it was the sketchy nachos left over from Friday that I didn't refrigerate immediately. The morning gets off to start with more homework (it just needs to disappear) and then it's brunch time with Jandro, and JaMocha at the Marché. French Toast with that decadent VT maple syrup, and a double dose of JaMocha Shake on the side, makes that morning a win. Plus, I got to catch up with my senatorial friend, Riker, and it's always great to talk to him. Jandro ditched us and hung out with the twins, Molly, and Kasey, and their perpetual follower and stalkerish boy toy, David. Back home to get more work done and Jandro comes in to torture me and Sam who are having a civil conversation. The dude takes our souvenir highligthers from that rave thingy, and slaps it out of my hand and the thing explodes against the wall. Literally unbelieveable, like a Pablo Picasso painting with spontaneous generation. So we go upstairs after cleaning up the mess, to borrow a lax ball from Ky-Ky, and Jandro has the bright idea of yelling at girls from the window. I try to stop the madness by shutting the window and effectively take the thing off its hinges. Awkward as eff right there. Soon I hear some singing and look who magically appears, my Krabby Patty. Another bro hug and he brought by rock candy, which effectively made my day. It's about that time again for Sunday dinner, and literally our entire floor heads to Redstone campus to sit together and dine as one ridiculously large fam-bam. I'm talking, Ky-Ky, Ali-Cat, Penguin Lilia, Hannity-Insanity, No-Crap Carolyn, MAbby, Shan-Dawg, Big Ben, Nasty-Nate, Nemesis Norio, Natty Dan, Sam I am, Krabby Patty, Twilight, Jandro, and myself. Best part is when Natty Dan composes a text message on Big Ben's phone about him having herpes and Ky-Ky sending it. Quite possibly the greatest reaction ever. We come back and do some tree climbing, like super vampire style. And Hannah, Jandro and I pay a visit to the northside to hang out with Dancing Danielle and Hella Funny Hailey. It's on to the next one and I'm chronically late, as always to my UVMtv meeting. Everybody else is there, and I'm the last to walk in #storyofmylife. We plan out this week's episode of "Dirty Pop" our popular culture TV Show, starring me, and HF-Hailey. This week, will be epic, tune in to channel 12, on Wednesday at 6pm sharp to see us go live. So I want to play some damn tennis, so Nasty-Nate and I go for round 2 of our match. Let it be known that the official score is 1 to 1, but I was owning the court this time, looks like somebody good-looking is getting better at everything. I shower, and change into my jammies, make some popcorn and make funny faces at Shandee. Ky-Ky and her wander around doing nothing for a while, and it's finally time to call it a night. The weekend is officially over, and lines the have been crossed.




Being a teenager is all about having control of your life. People like to let things get out of hand, but if you're not in control then who is. Tell me why that stupid puppeteering commercial with the sketchy red cups comes in to mind right now. This isn't a corny after school special, it's the truth about being in college. You can do whatever you want to, but if you've got rules and standards, then live by them. 90210's tagline applies here, "If you wanna live in the zip, you gotta live by the code."



My blog post question for the day is ... what's something you'd never thought you do in college? There's been a whole lot of that, like co-hosting a TV show, mudsliding, and becoming so close with an entire floor of people.

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