It Happens Everytime

Being a teenager is looking back and being able to laugh your life. I'm telling you, the things that happen us as teens is completely random as hell. There's so many times where I'm just thinking to myself, this would happen to me. It's not even a surprise anymore when ridiculous things occur. Let's face the facts, we're not normal, and there's no such thing as normal. I look at my life, and realize it's uncommon as eff, but that's the best part.  Get ready for drama, hilarious instances, and of course more adolescent advice. Embrace your uncanny uniqueness and know that it happens everytime.

The cast of 'Real World San Diego'Wednesday morning was another one of those rough days. Not only was it colder than Subzero from Mortal Kombat, but you've got the wind whipping about your face, like you're on a boat, as in the Titantic with icebergs all around. I clamber to grab some food, breakfast at Alice's Café and guess who's there, Business Bro, duh - the dude is looking sharp as ever, we say our hello and in comes MAbby and Ali-Cat. Eastside is everywhere, don't ever forget it. I head to Biology class where all this talk of cellular energy consumption is literally scrapping the fun out of me. I continue to take notes, but also write half of Wednesday's blog post (made up of events from Monday/Tuesday), I'll say I was super productive that class. It's on to HCOL for some talk of Darwin and his theories on that changing development thingy, oh, I think it's called evolution. Personally, I believe in both intelligent design and evolution, face the facts, there is some all power man upstairs with good taste, because look what he put together in me, uhm, irresistible dark chocolate man-boy. No worries, it's lunchtime and so it's off to the Marché for lunch with Jandro. Roast Beef sandwich and some people watching. So we came up with these signals for rating the chicas, and it's a pretty efficient system, but if I told you, then that would completely skew the scale, so chill with all that. It's for me to know and for y'all to find out. Soon it's time for me to make the journey to the center of campus for a chemistry lecture. It was rough as hell, not only do Krystina, Jandro and I end up sitting in the third row way too close for comfort, the dude next to me's cologne was so potent it was like a skunk trying to strangle my nostrils. And Mystery Model is nowhere to be found. Dear Hunky nemesis, your staring contest partner misses you, you Hollister sporting stranger, come back and be destroyed, I'm working on my lazer vision. We make it back to the dorm where I barely have time to scarf down the rest of my sandwich and it's off to the party district of houses for a haircut. We walk by the main green and all Jandro and I see is a squirrel humping the hell out of a twig, dude, get a girlfriend and go nuts, but you'd better take her out to dinner or marry her first. Time is running and Jandro games it up big time with Gears of War 3, whereas I'm watching the time to head on over to the TV studio. I end up dipping out without losing the mini-fro, and walk back up to campus. Guess who rides by on his back telling jokes in his complainy voice as always, the pre-med club VP, homeboy Dyl-Dog - coolest senior ever. I make it to the studio with time to spare and it's curtain call for our show, "Dirty Pop." We get ourselves ready and go live on air, I think, and at least broadcast on UStream. All I know is Molly and J-Slice get us started with some witty banter as always. Hailey's comet and I debate throwback 90's TV  in our so teenage way, and the show runs pretty smoothly. Foxy-Jack geeks us the hell out with his babe-like infatuation with Harrison Ford and it's time for me to close the show out with my tirade of tweets. I'll just say, that if you like this blog, you need to see that segment, it takes this ranting and raving to a whole other level. I make it back it to the dorm only to grab a pad and paper and head on over to the Living/Learning Center for an IRA (Inter Residence Association) meeting. Sam and I are the representatives for our complex and when they shoutout the North Heights, we yell like there's no tomorrow, way louder than necessary or expected. Uhm, yeah, that would happen to us. Everybody introduces yourself and we snack and design name placards with the sounds of Cisqo "Thong Song" playing in the background, oh UVM. Time to head home which is where the drama starts. It's about to happen people.

So Norio Nemesis and his high school friend are in the hallway, and Jandro throws a flyer of paper at me. I throw it back and run to the windows, and push off them. Alejandro full-force tackles me into the window where I slam my lower-jaw into the handle and my pockets into the window sill. I literally thought I had chipped a tooth. Jandro, Sam and I head to the Marché for pizza and drinks before coming back to my room. Double-T, Twilight, Jimbo, and Mireille come to my room to play COD:BO Zombies while I'm doing homework. Whatevs, I blast my music in my headphones and all is well, until I take my cellphone out of my pocket and the screen is obliterated, shattered and destroyed. OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS, this is not real life now. Like this is not happening to me, like no way-no way. Jandro's window tackle broke my Droid 2, Jonathan, my cell phone had been murdered. I'd only had him a mere 6 months. So I have to call my father figure and talk to him about it. Eff my life. You expect to hear screaming or see some tears, you get neither. It wouldn't have helped the situation so I was fine, I just went on with my night, crushed and quiet, just like my beloved phone. That thing had my future children's names stored on it. Whatevs, I have to write my essay so I get to it. Another 3 am bed time. This would happen to me.

I don't need the surgeon general to fill me in on the fact that running on % hours of sleep is highly not recommended. I wake up just before Jesse McCartney starts singing "Crash and Burn" at 7:50am - I decide to let Krabs get his "under the sea" sleep so I get reday for tennis, as silent as a Hitman Assassin and emrabce the cold on the way to the courts. Tennis class is always on experience. We play this game of Olympic Tennis that pushes you to the limit. We add all the elements of the game we learned so far and it create some orgnanized chaos. Big E comes thundering after a high lon, and the fear of his overhead smash like Thor's hammer. I'm a mess all over the court, and by the end of the class, I'm sweatier than a freshly dipped walrus in salt water. Of course our favorite classmate, Pretty Boy Evan is MIA. Back to the dorm, with some dancing on the loose block with Nasty Nate, and I shower like Flash Gordon, blazing fast. I dress up all snazzy and preptastic and head to central to have my prof read my essay draft. To the food truck for another hot sauce laced egg, sausage, and cheese English Muffin and back to teh dorm to begin an episode of the Real World: San Diego. Krabs and Shan-Dawg pop in, and i must ehre dumb courage to find the Verizon store. I get to where the gym parking garage is and and I predictably head in the incorrect direction. I walk for about 10 minutes until I finally see some construction workers who tell me I need to turn around. Tell me why one fo thsoe scary ass roange/black caterpillars starts crawling in front of me ... panic ensuses and somehow, I make it ot he Big Red cell phone carrier not so in the sky. After waiting for 8 people to be helped ahead of me (It took total self restraint to not walk out. I don't wait in lines, lines wait for me - I'm important) the dude tells me I'll be paying full price for a new phone. I'm thinking, eff you broham - but he suggest Ebay. Defeated and teenage necessity-less, I stumble back to the drom with an epic pout face. I sign up and start bidding on a Droid 3, if I'm going to pay big bucks, I might as well get an upgrade in the process. The stomach starts a rumbling and Jandro joins me for a little lunch of this goulash stuff in the Marché. Dear overprices goulash, I thought goulash were rain boots? Who knows, all I can tell is you that $7.29 is overpriced for have a plate of meaty vomit. Failure of a lunch and it's time to do some homework. In and out of unwanted naps and it's time to head to math class, but not before playboy Chase-Chasem' comes to have bro-talk and bro-time, so it's just a bromantic brofest as we walk to central campus complaining about Jandro breaking everything. Freaking shat, it's still boiling in there and all of us literally start stripping clothing, it was like a non-existent limit music video in there. My whole row passes the heck out like chrolorform kidnapped children, Elizabeth Smart style. Talk of limits bores me, I have no limits. On to the honors colelge plenary lecture where talk of malaria sex ratios keep us all Darwinized. Muching Swedish Fish, sitting next to JaMocha SHake, and squiggly sickle cells and it's din-din time with the majority of the Eastside gang. Hamburger and French fries for this kid with a soda on the side, great floor conversation with our favorite upper-midwestsider cousin, Cracka-Jack, and an intense game of fooseball. Funny stories and grade complains from all of us, Hannity-Insanity, MAbby, Cracka-Jack, Penguin Lilia, Nemesis Norio, Natty Dan, No-Crap Carolyn, Sam I am, and Jandro. Back home to be dumb as always. Krabby Patty interviews me for his anthro (apparently it has nothing to do with anthrax) project and we discuss some of my Ghanaian culture. One of my favorite people of all time, Joelly-bear, wanders in and the three of us talk about everything. The upcoming acapella concert, economic terms like who the hell is Dow Jones and why does he/she ring the bell to the close the market, state/conutry capitals and taxing without teenage representation (Joteng for Senate). Then Ky-Ky tries to foil No-Crap Carolyn's plans to do homework by stealing her labby-top. Soon, people clear out and it's just left with me to do homework on my bed with Jimbo knocking back some Strawberry Cheesecake B&J's ice cream. Soon Krabs come back with his crew of Jakey Bear and their friend Clare and they decide to streak through the building. #MyRoommateIsCrazy is a major exaggeration, running in their unmentionables (but I'll mention them, underwear) causes a ruckus and they even make it outside into the near freezing cold. Krabs comes back to shower, and I need to relieve myself so I go downstairs to the lobby to use the bathroom and the bathrooms have been locked. Unknowingly the terrible two-some of Jandro and Twilight beat me down there just to mess with me. Back upstairs where they explain and I bolt back down there, too bad I fell out of my shoes and had to go back before I could settle to defecate. I'm trying to chill in the bathroom and Jandro unlocks and relocks the bathroom threatening to expose the sausage. The night is just ridiculous with toilet paper trying to be thrown about in my room and random tickle fights leading to yelling. Another unnecessary 2 am night. I edit my essay once more and call it a night. It just seems to happen everytime.

Being a teenager is all about taking pride in the fact that you might be a huge mess. Whoever said they have their lives all together but be Hilary Rodham Clinton or something, because as teens it's perfectly fine to be a whole lot of weird. Embrace your unbelievable life because it's yours and yours alone. While it does get hard being me, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I hope you feel the same way too. Dream Street said it best, "It Happens Everytime."

My blog post question for the day is ... what makes you ridiculous? Sitting in a completely quiet class and laughing out of nowhere just because I remembered something funny, like girl vs. bus roof.


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