Grand Finale

Being a teenager is all about getting your self ready for final exams. In college final exams are like not a joke and somehow make up 25% (sometimes more or less) of your course grade. Like are you kidding me, you're saying that if I take a hit on one damn exam that my grade could go from A and to a C - that's rubbery horseradish. It's crazy, and with classes being out, the partying scene all over the place, and tiredness settling in, the motivation to study is almost not there. Have no fear, you can do this. You can pass, and you can save your grade before your parents find your grades and give you the demolishing look of disappointment. It's time to bow out and prepare your grand finale.

There's three parts to making it through your grand semester finale of exams. Studying (if you think you can get by without studying you must be like lying to yourself), taking breaks (if you don't, you might literally keel over and die) and sleeping (without sleep you body will coagulate like spilled blood until you're a human bowl of Jell-O * did I make that up, uhm yes). Start with the basics, to succeed on your exams you're going to need to prepare for them adequately. Make a schedule of when and where your exams are. You can't take an exam if you happen to miss it and college plays for keeps, no take backsies. Now that you've got that done it's time to hit the books and start having affairs with your notes. By the time you're done studying you'll pretty much be in a facebook official relationship with your textbooks (that's hot). I don't know about you but if I analyze something for too long I get bored and consider giving up on life (take that however you'd like). So to keep things fresh and interesting alternate between your subjects of study. An hour on biology and then another hour on calculus. Reading about asexual cell division and derivatives are both no fun, but once you switch, you'll be glad you did. You need to figure out which way of studying works best for you. My biology lab partner, Em-Spica the girl is a studying machine and she likes to "study" (the quotes are totally unnecessary) with other people. When we study she explains entire chapters to me like I'm a primitive caveman, it's actually really fun. Meanwhile I'm taking notes that I've already taken. There's two ways right there, talking it out (if you can explain it out loud, then you'll be able to pull that knowledge from the gross crevices of your cranium on your exam) and copying notes again. If you don't know what you're doing, check the end of chapters for their key checkpoints, most of these overpriced pompous textbook wannabe Gutenberg Bibles have them and they'll save you time and effort. If you like colors and memorization then dual wielding highlighters and going Crayola Color Wonder crazy would be great for you. Be warned children, if you mark up your book, people may not want to purchase it later. Also, highlight what's really important, this is not fill in all the white space with color type of thing, it's a get in and out extraction situation (like the Unit - damn that show was hella legit). Now you know what you're doing, get to it and study-udy-udy. Lighten the mood with rewards. I tell myself I'll study for an hour and then afterwards I'm allowed to eat candy or listen to a few of my favorite songs. It's like holding your freedom hostage (oh wait that's slavery, my bad). Center stage, lights on you, and take your grand finale.

Taking The Stage - Season 2

Taking breaks is like the essence of studying know-how. Once you've crammed that knowledge inside your brain-node-thingamajigs for a good hour, give the brain a break (lol, innuendos). For me taking a break means dirty dancing all over my dorm room. I'm talking about blasting party music and grinding with literally any inanimate object around. Pillows get humped, bed frames knocked around, and closet doors almost knocked off their hinges. It's like an explicit music video up in there, but it's fun, silly and a vacation from the norm. Then there's the snacking break where you just stuff your face with food like it's your full-time job. Swedish fish, chocolate covered pretzels, iced tea, cereal, hummus and crackers - whatever the heck floats for your hunger boat will serve it's purpose in relieving you from active studying duty (atten-hut). You can also leave the dark caverness (Narnia style) dwelling known as your dorm room and go socialize. For me that means ridiculousness with Krabby Patty, Jandro, Chasey-Chase'em, Cullen and Sammy. Whether it be roundabout conversations about how babies are apparently able to swim until 6 months (not true, I would know, I worked in a maternity ward for two years, I know my baby stuff), watching horror movie trailers with Daniel Radcliffe, eating cookies and soda, or making fun of people, it's a great time to be dumb. Westside Harrison and Geoff even came to visit while we watched the debauchery known as Scary Movie 2 (that movie was foul as hell and weird as eff). Switching it up to watch the Joneses (awesome movie, anything to do with ironic upscale situations intrigues me). Heading downtown for an adventure with Sammy to buy socks and get burgers/melts, candy from a gas station, and making it to Krabby Patty's acapella concert. Major breaks from studying. Lastly there's the most dangerous break of all, video games. You can literally game your life away if you're not careful. The best thing about video games though is that out of body experience, and when you keep dying you get pissed off and quit (thank goodness). Co-op missions with Chasey and Jandro and I'm ready to get back to the books. Relieve yourself every once in a while and hang out, but do please go back to work. It's grand finale time.

Lastly, you need to manage your time wisely. Staying up all night is not going to help anyone. Keep your diet in check and continue to eat, you're a growing teenager. You may not be as hungry but you still deserve to survive, so please eat. Sleep is necessary not only for you to be able to function but it keeps you looking good and young. Nobody wants bags under their eyes and beauty sleep is where it's all at. Take some naps and sleep the night away. Well rested and on the ball are where you need to be. Beware of social media because I promise you'll waste your life away on those sites. Exit out of facebook, twitter, and get the hell away from YouTube. You'll spend hours reading statuses, tweets, and watching babies or animals do silly things. Not going to help your situation. Be mindful of what's going down on your browser and once you've got those distractions out of the way, you'll get so much more work done. It's like a proven fact. Instead of firing up the Internet for mindless nothingness, make your bed, clean your room, do laundry or literally anything else that will keep you busy when you're not studying. Time your naps and set alarms for sleep. Just because you don't have classes doesn't mean you're still not on a schedule. This is your grand finale, make it the best one yet.

Being a teenager is all about doing yourself justice. You're obligated to get good grades and ravage the monstrosity of an exam your professor throws at you. You can do this. Keep calm and carry on. Library got you going crazy, play a sport or gossip with your friends. Sleep a little, laugh a lot, and get it done. Only a few more days until the sweet sustenance otherwise known as winter break. You got this on lock, this is your grand finale.

My blog post question for the day is ... what is necessary for you to be able to study? My music, lots of junk food and a light hearted mood. I take it seriously but I play like a fool as well. Keep it chill and loose people.


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