Code Zero

Being a teenager is all about experiencing your first few days back. Now that winter break is officially over, classes are definitely in full swing and it's about to get literally intense. College is a game I like to patronize known as code zero. Who really hasn't wanted to be a spy in one point or another in their life, James Bond, Mission Impossible, Inspector Gadget, even get Lindsay Lohan's "Get a Clue" - it's the cool thing to do. This semester is about redemption, payback, and successfully completing the mission assigned. We're about to go code zero up in this thing.

Monday morning I woke up almost in shock as to where I am. It's like I had been straight kidnapped. With not much to do I decided to seize the day like the "Dead Poet Society" and get a head start on studying and doing readings for my classes. It's the middle of the day when I get a my favorite playboy in training, Chasey-Chase'em (the most bromantic lax bro of all time). He comes on over and it's bear hugs all around, just spreading the love. We watch some funny cartoon Australian whale YouTube videos and just did some bro-bonding. After that we took to the cold to commandeer stamps and envelopes just as the bookstore was closing, it was almost like we were going to be trapped in there. It was literally so cold tears fell from my ice, turned to diamonds (because I'm pure like that) and shattered on the ground (crushing the dreams of teenage girls at having a chance with this, everywhere). Soon it was back to the room where slowly and slowly more people started filing in. Ja-Mocha Shake and her visiting sister, Jessica, Joelly-Bear and his new roommate, Ry-Ry, Cullen, Sammy, and everyone in between came and talked for a long while. It was like one huge reunion up in our room. Eventually we decided to grab some grub and it was to the Marché to rustle up some food. Mystery Model sighted, along with business bro. Food was mediocre at best, but what can you do. You can only do so much to save the world. Day is done, mission accomplished.


The first day of classes is always an interesting one. I get super nervous for no reason and sort of freak the freak out (Victoria Justice style). I'm just a mess, I dress to impress and the smile is turned on to it's full wattage like a freaking Dark Knight sky signal. I get up on Tuesday morning not by will but by the shear fear struck in my heart as the dreaded fire alarm goes off. I hop on out of bed, no need to turn my swag on, I'm dripping swagu (like the Ragu spaghetti sauce), grab some shoes, a jacket and proceed into the freezing cold, minus my contacts and the super cute retainer still in. I'm a stud, and anyone else who says otherwise must be legally blonde or blind (couldn't resist). 8:59 am, one more minute and I would have woken up gently to the sweet boyband sounds of One Direction, eff you flashing lights. After that whole ordeal I get properly dressed and it's soon on to my probation (long story, as in Honors College fail) meeting with the dean. It goes over pretty well probably because my GPA wasn't a true reflection of my intellectual ability or that I did anything wrong last semester. I go out for breakfast all by my lonesome on a mission to quell the gurglings of my stomach. I would usually have labs but not this week so spend most of the day hanging out in my room studying chemistry and getting a head start (look who's being productive). Soon it was time for lunch with Ja-Mocha Shake (Jackie), her sister, Jessica, Sammy, and Jandro in the Davis Student Center. It's the first chicken curry of the semester and it's mediocre at best. I see some of my friends from all the clubs I'm apart of like Paige from IRA, Stephen and Foxy Jack Steele from the TV studio. Lunch is a hilarious talk of how ridiculous our college really is, as in the huge lack of school spirit, the missing varsity football program and the formal dances (I need to win another prom, please and thanks). It's back to the hall to reapply deodorant (shoot, I'm a hot commodity but also a normal sweaty boy) and head on over to chemistry lecture. It's colder than frozen testicle cubes (they might exist somewhere) but we make it and take our rightful place in the front. It's literally jammed packed in there and the kid next to me smelled of hot butter and burning bacon drippings, like foul as hell. The professor is old, like ancient, like older than facebook old and sometimes mumbles straight sentences and laughs at his own jokes, but he's quirky and endearing. The amount of people in that class was crazy and everyone looked so old. There was the tanned bro who had the misfortune of sitting of the front row and had his cellular go off, fail, and the random girl behind me who wasn't even in the class. I didn't even get the chance to properly survey the auditorium to mentally judge people and scout for gorgeous girls (there's at least one in every class, it's like the prize inside of a cereal box). Class drones on, and on, and even longer on before we're finally done.Your know you've completed your mission when you make it through your first day of classes. Code zero, initiated. Mission accomplished.



It was back to the dorm room for some lounging before we came up with the bright idea of taking the bus to central campus to try out alternate routes to make it from my third to fourth classes on MWF. We get off the bus after riding around Redstone, and I'm literally flailing as a slipe, slide and mad dash on the street. It was scene straight out of the Big Comfy Couch, Lunette the Clown and all as the ice took it's toll. We find the math building and Sammy, Jandro and I all synchronize our watches (cell phones, what else is there) and set off on three different paths to see who could make it back to the hall complex the fastest. I'm doing hardcore time, straight sweating bullets and I take three flights of stairs and I'm officially in last place. Jandro had to pinky promise that he didn't run, and we lose the bet. It's din-din time so Sam and I ask new kid Ry-Ry (Joelly Bear's new roommate) to come with us and along the way we wrangle Em-Spica to sit with us as we snack. Ultimate Frisbee Mate (from now on abbreviated UFM; his significance, we see other all around campus and awkwardly smile at each other but have no idea who the either is) is in the Marché when I'm on the hunt for a lunchable but I settle for black bean and corn salad. We all sit down and I see Mystery Model looking as modelly as ever, and we all compare our days. It's back to the room to play Bananagrams with Jakey-Bear, Krabby Patty, Lila and Jandro. I lose both games of course but I was dominating for a while. 9 o'clock strikes and Sam and I retreat to her room to watch ABC Family's "Jane By Design" (don't judge me, I love some drama). An hour of good TV and we're wrangled into the bathroom to sit on the random chairs that have been placed in there by Jandro. The lights go off and it's the three of us in there with the shower just running, random and awkward as hell. I've realized we're all really weird. Almost beddy bye time but not before Krabs and Jandro help me figure out an outfit to wear with my new blue suspenders. Oh we're weird alright. This is code zero.



Being a teenager is all about making the most out of your college experience. Second semester is all about making amends with what went wrong in the past and making an effort towards and even better future. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, consists of you having the time if your youthful life while demolishing all your goals and expectations in the process. It's up to you to zap the chip off your shoulder and start it all fresh and new, no highway option. This is code zero.




My blog post question for the day is ... if you were a spy what would your cover be? I would hide out in the open as an actor, like have a legitimate job and be a celebrity but also be a covert agent. Such  a tricky beast.