Ice Cold

Being a teenager is all about knowing your own personal temperature. No I'm not talking about playing doctor and shoving a thermometer up your arse, or under your tongue or the awkwardness that is under your armpits (those roller-head ons are cool, but weird because it's like applying nonexistent deodorant to your forehead). I'm talking about being conscious of your body language, which includes whether you're coming off as hot or cold to all the people around you. You've got to be aware of the levels your giving off or risk running a wild fever of crazy, complete with cold chills of bipolarity. This is ice cold.

Knowing the temperature of a room is an important skill for sure. As soon as you walk into a place you can tell how people are feeling, whether or not your jokes will work, and if people are having it. There's always those awkward moments where you forget to brighten up and you walk into a room and shut everyone down. Your tone of voice, your body language, and the look in your eyes just let people know that you've got ice in your veins. Like dang, tone it down and keep calm. It's not fair to let your bad mood ruin the whole atmosphere of a room, leave your sloppy slush at the door. There's also the flipside of that where you're super cheery and you're doing to much like Marvel backflip ("jeans stay skinny like I starve my fabric" New Boyz "Cricketz" #dont'judgeme). You've got to turn your dial and match up to the level where everyone else is. Thursday in my pop culture in religion class this guy went way too hard on my professor for no reason whatsoever. He didn't understand our homework assignment and like grilled our super-nice professor, when he could have just asked nicely instead of insinuating that she was trying to get us to fail or something. Like homie, it's not that serious - calm yourself and relax. Friday morning I went to my political science class where my professor continued his bitter old man reign of terror. Yeah, I understand the points he's trying to make but his vulgarities really shake me up. I'm deathly afraid he'll call on me, and the mood of the room changes with his every statement. We go from hot to cold to blazing ignited to ice cold in a matter of segments, like thaw us down and pause. I spent the rest of my TGIF morning in the library with Dzenan and our genetics recitation group buddy, Taylor. Let's just say I was a mess - I'd already done the homework we were supposed to be working on, so I played Temple Run 2 (it's out in the app store as of yesterday; you're welcome) for hours and had way too good of a time hanging out. They're cool, it was fun just to hang out and sit without being asleep. It's only been a week and I'm already being run ragged. This kid was hardcore tumblin' all over tumblr for over 2 hours and my attempt at a creeper pic was embarrassingly discovered (apparently, I was louder than I thought). I ate junk food and we bro-bonded, probably one of the many highlights of my day - finding like minded people at college is a struggle and a half. I'm pretty sure everyone in the library hated us by the time we left, I was a witty sassmaster, and the qups were going quick fire. Returning to the freezing chills of the outdoors was the ultimate slap to the face. It was more than ice cold. *Check back Sunday for the rest of my epic Friday with my fraternity's chartering ceremony update!

The weather might actually be out to get us. I heard some people on campus refer to it as "global weirding" instead of the usual global warming (I'd like some damn warming, it's brick city out here) and thought that was the perfect definition. No matter what is going on with mother nature and her seemingly bipolar (literally ... *crickets) mood aka weather swings, it's ruining my teenage life. Like yo, I woke up to siri telling me it was zero degrees outside. In what life am I living that that's something I have to venture out in to retrieve food in. I feel like freaking Jake Gyllenhaal in the Day After Tomorrow doing the utmost to survive some apocalyptic superstorm. It's like the world is pulling a Mortal Kombat fatality on me - classic Sub-Zero style. I can't deal with this, and I'm not about this life. This is the barren tundra up here. People's noses spontaneously combust and bleed - like damn. What I've learned is it's all about how you layer. You've got to dress properly and balance between functionality and stylishness. Let it be known that I would rather look good  and be cold than look ratchet and be warm. Just because it's literally freezing outside does not mean you have to dress like a U.S. Olympic team reject (sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatstains - sweat-everything, it's not a good look). It's the first week of school still - it's way too early to stop trying. We're all judging you hardcore. Get it together and dress right. Long-underwear or as some people call them Long-Johns are where it's at - they warm up your underbody and come in every single color (including plaid, which isn't a color but a pattern - but who's blogging here). Get some! The socks, the longer the better - like a prep school kid, do it well. Thicker is better. Upgrade your sweater #swag (yes, I secretly refer to myself as the cardigan king and your point is?) and stockpile those over-garments. T-shirts are a must, then a shirt, and then whatever is going on up top. You need a real jacket - not some rif-raff flannel - that's not a coat, buy one or risk dying on this Oregon Trail college campus. Gloves, they should work (that means give you access to your touch screen) and the headgear, whatever you like (trapper hats, headphone muffs, wraps, etc.). Please, I mean I'm begging you all to get some chapstick - the dead wrinkled sorry excuses you've got for lips on your face right now is doing nothing for you - get your Angelina Jolie up. Big this season, the puffer vest or the gilet (if you're British) - get one and start your sleeveless outwear collection. The worst thing about dressing for the winter is that you're barely warm outside but when you get indoors you're blazing hot as hell - peel it off and avoid sweating at all costs. It's like menopause, hot flashes and all. It's ice cold.

Being a teenager is all about knowing the temperature. Whether that be what kind of warmth you're giving off (like a space heater #prohibited) or what to wear to look good, feel great, and not freeze. You've got to know what's going on, not only with yourself, but the world around you. Do a little research, take some time out to chill and bundle up. It's ice cold.

My blog post question for the day is ... if had to describe yourself as a weather pattern, what would it be? Okay - so this a super weird question but I would definitely be a brooding storm, dark gray clouds rolling in and lightning striking out of nowhere and just a quickly to dissipate and return to blue skies.