Hot As Hell

Being a teenager is all about living up each and every day of summer. School is officially over at my former high school and that means it's about to a summer long marathon of suburban teens gone wild. I'm talking party hopping, music blasting, car cruising madness. Grab your favorite summer jams, pick up a couple scoops of ice cream, and open up that sun roof, summer is officially here. Summer is the hottest time of the year, both weatherwise and girl-wise. It's like all the beautiful girls have just come out of hibernation, shed their long sleeves and fur coats, and slimmed down to nothing more than a hot commodity. I'm trying to grab somebody sexy and tell her give me everything tonight. It's also blazing outside, the sun beats down on your back and ass gets soaked effectively planting a gnarly wedgie to whatever you're sitting on. It's a mess. But it's the best time of the year to be young. I'm justing say it's/you're hot as hell.

Today was a pretty wild day, just how each and every day of summer should be. I started out by driving around running errands with my mom, which included buying some travel size stuff for my journey to orientation tomorrow. It's literally hot as eff outside people, and that means if your parents go inside to buy something you don't play it dumb and stay in the car. We might be teenagers but some of us are not so bright, and we think we're more resistant than we actually are. We're not super-powered, just superstars. Heat exhaustion can strike anytime, any place, and to anyone. Leaving the car on, as in idling and blasting the air conditioning, is terrible for the environment and you can kill your car battery (I would know, I've most deff done it before, whoopsies). Just having a window open is not enough, you'll roast alive in there like some braised beef spare ribs or lightly salted golden potatoes. Get your sweaty self out of the vehicle and head indoors, where it's cooler. It's not that big of a deal, but it can for real save your life. It's ridiculous that little babies, toddlers and children die of heat strokes just because they're ignorant parents left them there; it's not okay.

I know we're teens at that means we only check the weather on our cell phones in the early morning to see the temperature to decide what to wear each day (y'all know I do) - but listen to the news every once in a while, you'll learn something. Nowadays the meteorologist will shout out Smog warnings and heat index warnings, as in you should stay inside whenever possible. Smog can literally kill people, it's foul as eff, and hard to get away from if you live near a major metropolitan city. Head out to the suburbs for some fresh air. If there's a heat warning out, you need to be downing water like there's no tomorrow, well there might not be, the world could roast any day now apparently. If theres's a heat warning out, y'all need to be staying indoors whenever possible. That's not the time to be laying out, you're just asking for skin cancer, chillax with all that. Sunscreen is a necessary measure, and it needs to be applied multiple times, and hopefully not by your mother. Take a cold shower, walk around barefoot (at your own home) or take a dip in the local pool. Fill your freezer with tons of ice cream, popsicles, and frozen delicacies and you should be set. Wait the heat out, don't be doing yardwork in the middle of the day, you'll keel over and hardcore peace out. Wait for the sun to go down before you continue all that outdoor business. It's like freaking hot as hell.

So this week, if you didn't notice, all posts from Tuesday until Friday have all been late. I've been mobile blogging and disconnected from the internet for a while, because I went to my college orientation. Let me tell you, it's like freaking hot as hell up here too. If you're of color, you understand me when I saw it's like the sun hates people with pigment, like it's beaitng down harder on you than anyone else. It's like my skin is roasting like some potatoes in an oven. I'm telling you, I've got some dark sunglasses and I was seeing normally even with them on, it was that bright and that hot. Everybody was beating their shirts and dripping sweat like none other. I hate sweating, it's gross and smelly. But whenever it's hot I cannot stand sitting and your back gets wet, and it's like noticeable because it seems through your shirt. It's like super embarrassing and hella awkward. It seems like old fat men have that problem a lot. Your socks are like soaked and it takes you a while to peel them off. It's terrible. And then your boxers, or I guess underwear/panties for everybody else make you think your ass is wet. Yup, I said it. It's like having a perpetual wedgie. I'm like trying to get it out, but you think everyone's watching you, yeah not a pretty site at all. Keep dry, however necessary. It's hot as hell.

Being a teenager means that summer is bringing the heat. Here's a rule, just because the sun is spewing fire balls at your hometown does not give you a reason to walk around in short shorts, with your shirt off or just chilling in lingerie. If you're in public view, as in that includes when you're mowing your damn lawn, keep your clothes on. It's like indecent exposure or something, hell I don't know, all I know is that if you're looking like a chubster, or just flaunting yourself, you might be a mess. We're like all hot as hell right now.

My blog post question for the day is ... what do you do when it's hot?
I like eating popsicles and playing video games, super chill


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