Out of the Loop

Being a teenager means always being connected and in the know. When you lose touch with what's going on in your circle, you might as well just not exist. I realized the real importance of my teenage existence in part when I was gone for college orientation, my friends still texted me to figure out plans for things to do; of course they had forgotten I was out of state. It was just funny. And when I didn't make an appearance at a few graduation parties, the alarm was raised and people were apparently wondering where I was. So I guess I do matter. Let me tell you, travelling and being out of touch with the internet for a few hours is kind of ridiculous. It's hard to live vicariously through twitter updates and facebook statuses, I need the real deal. Long as heck text messages ranting and raving about everything, and everyone. Teenagers, we talk, we gossip, we talk trash, we spit game, and we have to know everything about everyone at all times. When you go out of the loop, you teenage life might be a mess. Time to discuss digital dependence, immature preteens and being weird.

The newest thing nowadays is for everyone to have a smartphone. At first you could get away with just a classic flip phone, and then texting blew the eff up. Now a full QWERTY keyboard is like most deff necessary and then came the age of 3G and now 4G LTE. Smartphones are literally amazing, it pretty much is like having a computer in your pocket. Whenever I need to look up the most obscure things, as in my obsession with knowing actors/actresses and their credentials and the most random times, I whip out my phone and IMDB the hell out of it. If you don't have a smartphone, it's not the end of the world, but if you can, I would for sure beg your parents to get you one. I promise you, it changes your life. You will always be in the know. I'm talking whenever someone tweets something super embarrassing, graphically sketchy picture and street location in tow, you'll be the first person to see it and spread it to everyone. Rumors don't start because of incidents anymore, it's all about facebook fights and twitter awkwardness. I check my email constantly, especially during college decision time, it's essential. I would be at "work" (volunteering) at they sent decisions at 5pm, I either turned on my data or the WiFi and instantly knew my fate. You are synced with facebook, and everyone who I'm fbook friends with, I have their numbers and email address, comes in handy, especially when you get a prank call for sure. If you don't have a cell phone by now, you don't exist. My textual conversations are literally legendary. Half the running jokes, drama, and anecdotes I come across are via text message. It's called cyberbullying for a reason. If you're not constantly updating and downloading, you might be out of loop. Loser, loser, double loser, get the picture, that's you.

Things that always seem to come up are immature preteens being so like immature. Let me tell you, once you turn 13, you're a freaking teenager, all the way until you turn the big 2-0, where you instantly become like a twenty something, after that, you're old as eff, and in the age until your thirties where no one can really tell your age. It's like preteens are out of the loop, they really give teenagers a bad rap. They're annoying as heck. They're so dependent on one another that its almost creepy. You can't walk by them without them instantly giggling or sneering like the little snivelling crazy prepubescent awkward squads that they are. It's like they've never seen young adults before. I'm sorry, your balls haven't dropped and that you still make the mistake of wearing white pants even though you haven't figured out your monthly cycle, but get a life and stop staring, you're out of the loop. They don't have respect for anyone. They talk back with absolutely horrible comebacks, and everything they saw or do is completely vulgar. Smacking girls on the butt and drive by farting is so not cool. Ball taps and titty twisters are statutory rap. Keep your grimy, sticky, and frankly gross with warts yet to be frozen and monkey bar callouses off the rest of us. If you don't shower, pick your nose and eat the boogers, and belch the alphabet as a flirting trick, you might be foul as heck. It's called buy some deodorant, stop terrorizing your crushes, and refrain from saying your mom at the end of everything and grow the heck up. You're completely out of the loop, you acne ridden, scrawny and super awkward menace to society.

As a teenager you'll learn the difference between being quirky/unique and being completely weird. Me, you all know that there is no one who even is remotely like me. Think about it, I'm like the rarest person you'll find, my life might be super random, and my personality is so genuine that I promise, you'll never meet anyone who can even touch this. All the haphazard dancing, the geekable laughter, and of course the classy humor keep me one of a kind. Let me tell you, there are just some weird people out there. The kids that are so ridiculous that no one ever talk to them and the teenagers that just scare the heck out of you. I'm talking those devil worshipping, dark cloud, witchcraft star, blood trading gothic types. The cackling, pocket protector sporting, random factoid spewing nerds. The silent, super artsy, recluse types, just drawing anything and everything. Kids who are unapproachable just because they are so intense or so not there, are completely out of the loop. If you barely have any friends, or people cower in fear whenever they see you, that's a problem. You might hate mainstream society, but MTV, Top 40 Music, and cultural phenomenon is what we teenagers do. Get with the times, and get in the loop. Your creepy huffing and puffing, your strung out bloodied eyes, and your weird mumbling of incantations mess us all up.

Being a teenager is all about knowing everything at all times. If you miss something, it's hard to play catch up. Now that it's summer staying connected is harder than ever. You're out of school so eavesdropping in the hallway just won't cut it. If you want to have the best summer ever but not become a social pariah, you should do all you can to stay in the know. Stay social and get yourself out there, upgrade your cell phone as soon as possible and avoid being weird or immature, we're teenagers not freaks and geeks.

My blog post question for the day is ... what do you hate most about preteens?
For me, it's how they all look the same. They roll in a pack and are essentially the same person, like who does that?


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