End of the World

Being a teenager is all about taking control of your relationship. It's the summer meaning, literally everyone is on the prowl to get themselves some. If you don't take care, your swagger will be jacked, and so will your baby girl. Lingering eyes, lead to anguished hooking up, and cheating leads to lies, and lies mean to a nasty break up. They say keep your friends close, but keep your significant other closer. The hotter the commodity the more likely they are to be hit on. Defend what's yours and claim your prize, blow it off and disregard it and you'll it loose it faster than a Tila Tequila on a stripper pole. Breaking up does not mean your life is over, however it just might be the end of the world.


When you're on the hunt, searching for the perfect girl/guy to make your main squeeze, you need to be prepared for everything. Whoever said that all's fair in love and war, must not have ever been loved. Let's face the facts, it's hard for us teens to work up the courage to talk to the opposite sex. I mean, I see some girls and I'm a mess. I'm talking, I'm immediately more clumsy than usual and I stumble on my words, or I stay quiet, I'm a work in progress. Then for other people it's as easy as waking up in the morning to start making moves towards the cutie with the nice booty. It's written somewhere, like a friendship code or something, that whoever sees the girl first, gets the rights to the conquest. It's like calling shotgun, dibs, or paws off, jungle cat over there is about to be tamed. Tell me why, it's becoming more and more common for girls/guys to be stolen away from frontrunners by their more than sneaky friends. Playboy, this one's mine, and I walk away for two seconds and y'all are already sucking face? Uh huh, that's not going to work out. Keep your grubby, mystical massaging man hands off my future girl - you've barely given me a chance at getting her number before you're leading her away to ruin her for life. Most people don't do sloppy seconds, once a bro or chick in your social circle has done anything with someone, they're written off, used goods, and their expiration date has come up. Listen here people, if you're a true friend, you'll give your not so playa player chum a chance to get some, and if/when they're rejected, you can take a crack at shattering the secret code to chica's heart. But if I'm working on getting some digits, keep your hacker handsomeness away from here. Pilfering a girl/guy from a friend, can and will lead to some side effects. While your feeling of triumph might be awesome, be prepared for symptoms of alienation, dirty looks, facebook unfriending, and the occasional beat down. Friends don't steal girls/guys from friends. But if you do lose the "one" get over it, your friend may or may not be a douchey tool bag prick, but losing a friendship over a girl you barely know, may or may not be worth it. It's not the end of the world.



Now, if you've been going out for a while and y'all are just not working out, a break up may be in your near future. It's like a crystal ball reading, the end of your relationship might be around the corner. But you can't just break up with someone. You need to give some like warning, a signal, or at least wait until it's not an important day. I'm talking, if you break up with someone on or before their birthday, you're going to look cheap as hell. Buy the freaking gift and then get the heck out of there. It goes the other way too, if you wait until you get your pricey bling bling, and then cut the cord faster than a newborn with its umbilical, then you might be a gold digger. It's not okay to break up with someone out of the blue. Breaking up via text is a no-no, facebook is too public, and over the phone is kind of wimpy. Face to face is where it's at, and someplace where other people can see you. If you break up with someone, they deserve a reason why. Maybe you're just not feeling it, you're bored, and they're not meeting your needs - it's whatever, as long as you have a valid reason. If you're going to start getting it on with someone else right after you've ended your relationship, everyone will know that's why you wanted to finish things, but just because you drop the break up bomb before you tongue wrestle with someone else, doesn't mean it won't hurt. You'll look like a backstabbing, cheating scandalous harlot, as in, where you slutsketeering with somebody else the whole time? Wait a minute, and slow your roll, give it some time before you just move on. It's noble of you to stop things if they're going nowhere, but seeing somebody else so fast looks more than suspicious. Break ups most definitely suck, even if they're mutual, but remember it's not the end of the world.



Dealing with a break up is such a personal matter. For everyone it's a different process which may or may not include sappy break up songs blasting in on I-Pod, tons of ice cream and candy, horrible romantic comedies, and tissues. I'm here to say, break the cycle and get back on your feet. You may have been dumped, or done the dumping (poopy joke) but your is life is nowhere near over. As long as you're like not old, as in over 22, there's still hope for your love life. Locking yourself in your room, becoming depressed, and sobbing all the time is not going to do anything for your social life. Fake some damn happiness, start living the single life and break some young hearts. Play the role of the pimp or the temptress and do some damage, it's up to you to get back to your old self. Now, here's a message to all you repeat offenders, and you love addicts. I'm talking if you have make up lovin' and get back together with your ex on a recurring basis you might be a mess. You broke up for a reason, remember that and resist the familiarity. Try something new and break the cycle, slipping is a problem. You may have been dating for a while, but that doesn't mean you're married. It's not like you filed for a teen court divorce, and signed a prenup. All rise and skeddadle out of here, get yourself someone new, who better understands you and your adolescent ways. Not the end of the world kiddies.



Being a teenager is all about dealing with heartbreak. People act like breaking up with someone will literally kill you. Suck it up and deal with it, we're teens and this is real life, not a daytime soap opera. Save the drama for your momma and push. They say the best way to get over somebody is to get under some-body else (take that however you'd like). The sky hasn't fallen down, comets haven't struck the Earth, and lava geysers are nowhere to found, a break up is not the end of the world.



My double blog post question for the day is ... have you ever had a bad break up? Uhm, no, not really. I just like giving advice to melodramatic teenagers.

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