Scared Shatless

Being a teenager means that anything and everything has the potential to scare you. I'm for the most part a rational person, I'm not optimistic or pessimistic but rather pragmatic and I just tell it how it is. So when it comes to having fears, I'm not going to bull crap I've got a few. It's actually funny to think about but there have been countless times where I've jumped, yelled, and had horrible nightmares. It may sound crazy but forget it, I'm scared shatless.

Let's start with the animals fears. Don't get me started on tarantulas, those things are freaking hell on Earth. That AT&T commerical with the multi-colored one that freaks the lady out at dinner gets me everytime. I like start twitching and it highly bothers me, I'm going to petition for it to be removed from the air, what the eff. They should know that literally everyone is afraid of spiders. They have too many legs, 8 is not natural, and they have that big ass for no reason. My biology teacher last year had one as a pet in her classroom and I could never wash my hands in the sink closest to it because I'd start scratching and shaking uncontrollable. It's a valid fear. Then there's my fear of bees and wasps. Why the heck is a furry yellow and black death trap buzzing around me. That's probably why autumn and winter are my favorite seasons, those damned things take a hiatus from harassing me. When I was 8 I was stung by a wasp on my foot, which is why I don't wear sandals unless I've got socks (So Random! reference). Eff that, those things sting and it hurts like nobody's business. Then there's dragonfly, like good gosh, why are you so huge? We don't live near a swamp so why are you frequenting the places I hang out at? I have a recurring dream featuring those wretched things and I always end up dying, yeah that's a problem. Snakes are creepy as hell too, especially the bright colored ones. I know they're evil, why are you slithering everywhere, get yourself up and do something with your life. And then there's fish, dark colored fish like those lampreys and what not freak me the freak out. I don't do aquariums anymore because of that reason. I can be scared shatless of whatever I want.

Everybody has those fears that don't really make sense. Elevators, I'll ride in them if I must but I'm afraid I'll be stuck in one, the cable will snap, and I'll plunge to my death. When I volunteered at the hospital, that's all we used, and it really got to me. Plus, half the time, people smell like smoldering shat and body odor and you're stuck in a confined space, uh uh, no bueno. My next fear is one of being chased. So whenever I play tag, that's not the game for me, I literally hate being chased, it's too much to handle. That's probably why I don't do scary movies, and the black people get murdered first as always, so that doesn't help me either. Oh, burglar ski masks make me want to poop my pants, if someone ever broke in my house I'd for sure have to move, I would never feel safe ever again. Things with red eyes haunt me. On MTV Teen Wolf, the Alpha's eyes get me everytime, especially when it's just creeping around, it gives me the shivers and of course some vividly horrible nightmares, that always end with me forcing myself to wake up. Gorilla suits, no thank you. I don't know why you're dressed up as some overgrown monkey, but those things are scarier than Charlie Sheen going clean. I don't know what is about them, but knowing there's someone inside the costume doesn't really help either. I'm just scared shatless.


And now we get to the real fears, the most deep and personal fears we as teenagers can think of. Be prepared for my greatest fears. The thing I'm most afraid of is losing any of my family members, my parents or my brothers or sister. The world would literally end, and if any of them ever died I would have to kill myself too, and that's no joke, it's the absolute truth. Life without them would mean nothing. Also, my best friends, if anything happened to them, I'd probably be a catatonic mess. My second greatest fear would be everyone finding out who I really am. You can take however you want, but I'd say the only person that knows everything about me would be my sister, everyone else has barely scratched the surface. If you really knew me, you would know that I don't care about people's opinions of me, nor do I need their approval to be myself but if said I didn't care about popularity that would be a bold faced lie. For college, I'm afraid that I'll never fit in, or make friends, the meaningful kind, the one's that will be the groomsmen in my wedding. For love, I'm afraid I'll never find the girl who has everything I'm looking for and can connect with me on every single level imaginable. Maybe my standards are too high or maybe no girl will be able to handle my non-stop busy schedule and my life's work with social work. Maybe no chick will ever love me. It's the truth, and it's absolutely gets me to the core of who I am. I'm scared shatless, what about you?

Being a teenager means having the knack to be afraid of whatever you want. Fears are not good to have, they hold you back and do nothing but oppress your life, however they're unavoidable and they're what keep us grounded and real. Nobody is perfect, not even this guy, I've just shared with you, my private personal life and it's kind of terrifying. The hundreds of people that will read this and know this information about me is mind blowing. But it's okay to be frightened and scared, it's how you deal with all that emotion that matters. Find a way to overcome your fears and use them to strengthen yourself.

My blog post question for the day is ... finish the phrase, if you really knew me you would know? If you really knew me you would know that everytime I use the bathroom in my house, I have to straighten all the towels, fold my clothes and black out the phone. Don't judge me


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