Too Patriotic

Being a teenager means national holidays are like your favorite thing like ever. Whenever you can get off school because someone fought for something or it was somebody's birthday, you'll take it. It's Independence Day and that means America gets even more American than usual. I'm talking people go completely out of control to show their American pride. Everything has to be decked out in red, white, and blue and for once only American products are used, if only for a day. It's all over the top and a little bit unnecessary. The shear amount of events, the picnics, and of course the commercial deals at each and every store prove just how American America really is. I'm all for freedom and all that jazz, but America can be a little bit much at times. It's all just too patriotic.

In my neighborhood the fireworks get set off like nobody's business. In our half cul-de-sac they close down the street, have a block party, and end it was a pretty impressive fireworks show. The problem, all the debris lands on our house and our lawn, only to be picked up by me and myself alone. After the huge show, I'm pretty much done with the loud noise of fireworks and all of the lights. But then there's the random people who drive through the streets honking and shouting America, the neighbors who'll light random bombs for the next few nights when the rest of us are trying to sleep and the obnoxious American flags everywhere. Dear people, we all know we're in America, and bringing out your flag to display on mailbox or house makes you look ridiculous. No one else has that stuff, and besides it's not properly displayed or taken care off. Take your false patriotism and save it for Labor Day or something. Summer's here and the only reason we all get together it to get some free food, pretend to talk to one another, and watch some bursting chemicals. If you get on facebook or twitter, all you see is updates on people asking God to bless America. Thank the troops, make fun of British (but get off Prince William and Kate's honeymoon sack), say the pledge for once and call it a day. It's a whole lot of too patriotic.

There's all the promotions like everywhere. I think I'm just bitter because I ordered $741 worth of clothes for college and the day after all the independence day deals happened. It's whatever to pay for the stuff but the shipping is what bothers me. $25 to ship a box of clothes, are you kidding me, and of course the next day they waive shipping fees. The deals aren't even that great, it's just an excuse to get people to go buy stuff they really don't need. But I'll admit I do plan on taking advantage of the savings, it's one of the ways I get my dad to buy me things. He waits to the last possible minute to buy anything, and so if a deal has an expiration date it finally forces him to give up and pay for it. For that, America I salute you. You've helped me shakedown the pops. The Fourth of July is seriously out of bounds. Everywhere you look the food is RWB themed. I don't want blue ketchup or red macaroni and cheese, it may be edible but it looks foul. And for the holiday everybody becomes some sort of bona fide American classic chef. Let it be known an unseasoned burger with Kraft American singles cheese is a plain old burger. A sketchtastic hot dog burnt to a crisp is just that, and BTW, I prefer beef hot dogs not whatever random mix of pig parts you're serving me. Lays Potato Chips taste the same as they always do, the design on the bag means nothing. And if anyone offers me anymore watermelon, I'm going to plant a patch off the things inside they're stomachs and wait for them to explode. It's not that great, and if you're giving it to me just be ignorant then you can shove it down your own throat, mmkay. Instant classic, nope, too patriotic.

The fact that mail doesn't get delivered on National holidays is kind of problem. If I've got something coming in the mail I want it the day it's supposed to come, no matter if the government has the day off. And all the businesses that close early or don't even open at all. Seriously, it's kind of a like mid-summer Thanksgiving, everything gets together to barbecue literally everything. If it's not grilled then apparently it can't be eaten on the Fourth of July. And of course there's the overdone clothing. Decking yourself out in red, white and blue is one thing but the majority of people take it too far. If I see you with your face painted, hair dyed like freaking Kool-Aid and overzealous hats and what not, you can get to stepping. That's right, go ahead and walk it out right on out of here. You twirling sparklers everywhere, dripping vanilla ice cream and crazy sprinkles all of the place is not helping anyone. Don't even get me started on the TV, all there is full day marathons of the most ridiculous shows. Each and every station takes advantage of the holiday and abuses it. Car companies, your annoying commercials on Uncle Sam savings aren't fooling anybody, if people were going to buy a car they'd do it, you're louder than normal commercials begging for us to come on down to your less than legit looking showroom isn't doing anything for me. It just seems a little bit too patriotic.

Being a teenager is all about finding anything and everything to have a problem with. This is America, we get it, we're obsessed with ourselves but people need to tone it down. Let's not forget how we got here. Eradicating Indians, enslaving Africans, and tons of lying, cheating, and shady politics. We all know what America stands for, freedom, but at what cost? Ooph, this is awkward.

My double blog post question for the day is ... what's the greatest thing about America? I like the fact that you have the opportunity to be whoever you want and achieve your goals because your basic needs are provided for you.


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