Totally Clueless

Being a teenager means that your relationships will make up a major part of your life. It's for sure the summertime, meaning it's hot as eff outside, the clothes are coming off and everything and everybody is heating up. This is the perfect time to get yourself some, but be warned it's just as easy to loose the person you're with. I don't know if it's the crazy blazing heat, or the body sweat on the hot totties, but it seems like everybody is breaking up and breaking down. It's time to educate the masses on the definition of flirting, and what's considered cheating. No more excuses, you must be totally clueless.

Seeing as I watch so much TV and Lifetime Movies that I know pretty much anything and everything there is to know about relationships, my dating advice is legendary. So I've been caught up in that new VH1 dramedy, Single Ladies, BTW Stacey Dash "she can get it" anytime, it's like that woman doesn't age, and they've pretty much defined all the dating rules, and how to deal with infidelity. As a teenager, cheating is one of the hardest things to handle. The summer brings the teen angst out to thaw, and cooks it up so hot people don't know how to handle. Bros be wary that if you're cuffed, as in you've got a gf, then you're still obligated to be with her. Why yes, there's a ton of short-skirted, bikini flaunting babes running around, but you need to keep your mind out of the gutter, and focused on girlfriend number one. Eyes on the prize not doing a treasure hunt down south to some foreign goods. There's attractive girls all around, and if all you think about getting with a boat load of chicas, then maybe you need to get with the single life before you break baby girl's heart. Be considerate, if you know you're a player or commitment is not your thing, break up with your girl before you get with another one. It's not just common courtesy, it's common sense. If you get caught cheating, you'll be black balled, figuratively and literally. Girls talk, it's like what they do. And if you've done one wrong, they'll all know about it, and the only girls who will be left who'll still want to get with your two-timing, double-dipping, cheating self are the one's who lack dignity and class. Do what you gotta do to get free, if you really can't take the summertime stress of a relationship then cut the puppet string and be free to get a whole lot wild. It's our little secret, but you're totally clueless.

The summer is the best time to get your flirt on. It's like there's a thick cloud of musty lust in the air and everyone's ready to start talking. It's like everywhere you go there's teens looking young, sick and sexified, and ready for a summer fling. The pool is one of the best places to play your cards and score some digits. I'm not talking your neighborhood pool, that'd be awkward, unless you've got some hot neighbors. Either try a different suburban watering hole or else head to the gym or something, there's bound to be some new water bugs waiting to make your acquaintance. Everybody's all wet and rearing to go. Play some classic games of chicken, some underwater eye gazing, and apply all the sun block and tanning oils you can, learn the word reciprocate. You give some, you get some. If you're hitting the water, make sure you look the part. If you've got flab, you'll need to get some complete abbage before you show off your jiggly self. Concerts, another great place to meet some flirty singles. Mix it up, all you've got to do is catch someone's eye and muster the courage to talk to them. You've already got one thing in common, duh, you've got similar tastes in music. You can do a little dance, a whole lot of comparison on favorite songs, and have a good time. I don't know what is it about music, but people have a tendency to let loose and also lose their clothing when the tunes are turned up. Use it to your advantage and play the field. It's like a crowd of people just waiting to get with you. Get your head in the game and stop being totally clueless.

Summer is a time to make or break a relationship. With school out of the way, you've got no distractions to keep you from your teenage lover. But for some people that can be either a good or bad thing. If you're getting hot and bothered MTV Teen Wolf style, then it's for the better, but if the constant contact is turning you off, it might be time to get off the relationship train and board the next departure to singles island. Summer gives you all the time and way more to be free. You're obligated to spend it with the love of your teenage life. There's tons of stuff to do, but if you've got wandering eyes, keep them in check, staring at the click-clack ladder abs of the lifeguard that doesn't happen to be your resident hunksickle will end your relationship ASAP. Just because the booty meat is out there (yeah I used the term, what now) doesn't mean it's fully cooked and ready to eat (awkward analogy). You've got a heaping helping of gf/bf so don't ruin it just to get a summer single serve. If you have something good keep it, the new model is not always better. However if you're feeling suffocated like a Claire & Eli Degrassi relationship type crazy, then it may be time for a break. Trust me, summer is more than enough of a break. If you move on to bigger, better, and sexier things, great for you, then it was probably time to get over it, but if you're hung up on your past datees, then maybe a restitching is in your cards. Listen to heart, use your better judgement and do what's best for you and your relationship. Totally clueless doesn't look good on anyone.

Being a teenager is all about taking a long hard look at your relationship status and doing something about it. You're free to do whatever and whomever you want for like 3 months, so why not make the most of it. Do what you gotta do to get it done. Test your relationship and prove y'all can stand the test of the hot summertime, or call it quits and enjoy the loss of baggage.

My double blog post question for the day is ... what's your guilty pleasure TV shows? Okay, so I watch the Young and the Restless, but only when Kevin G. Schmidt is on there as Noah, he's one of my favorite actors and he's freaking hilarious, as demonstrated by his YouTube series, "Poor Paul"


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